I had not written about her limb differences in a while because, well, she is just so much more than her hands and feet and it really is such a non issue - most days.
As we were waiting for Lizzie, I began to collect books, books about adoption, mostly, but also, one very special book about kiddos who, like Lizzie, have something about them that makes them special, unique and beautiful!
Over the last 2 1/2 years, I have given her a few of the books about adoption for birthdays or Christmas gifts but I have not felt the need to give her the one very special book I have about limb differences...
So far, the questions have all been questions of innocent curiosity from children who wonder, what happened to Lizzie's hands.
So far, Lizzie has been able to rise above the questions, answering them with the wisdom of one much older and strength of one who knows that she was wonderfully made and that God doesn't make mistakes, but last night something happened that made this, the time for this particular, wonderful book.
Amazing Me is all about amazing kiddos with all different kinds of limb differences and Lizzie loved it - as did Em.
However, last night, the thing that made this, the right time for this book was - Em. My normally sweet and compassionate Em was frustrated and angry and lashed out at Lizzie in a way that was - just - not - like - her. In her frustration, Em made a hurtful comment about her sister's toes and I reacted.
I reacted out of love for Lizzie and out of disappointment in Em.
Hubby and I talked to Em and sent her to bed.
All night last night and all morning at Church I had a feeling, a nudge, a whisper in my ear that Em needed me. She was going through something too and she needed to talk about it and know that she could talk about it - with me!
So today we talked and I shared with her what it was like sometimes to grow up with a brother who has hands and feet like her sisters! Honestly y'all I had forgotten some of the feelings I had growing up.
As a child, I loved my brother, fiercely, and would try my best to watch over him and my heart sobbed for him every time someone would tease him. To this day, I have a very hard time forgiving some of the adults who, as kids, were ugly to him. It made an impact on me, a big impact. It is part of the reason I knew Lizzie was our daughter. My heart would never be the same.
However, there were other times, times that I am not proud of and times that were few and far between, but times that were filled with frustration, anger and even jealousy.
My brother was and is an incredible person but there were times that were hard and I was a child. I have had to work a bit to forgive the me that was a child with feelings that were less than God like and this morning I realized that Em needed that same forgiveness and needed to know that I understood and that is was ok to talk to me about these feelings.
I helped her to understand that saying hurtful things to her sister was definitely NOT ok but her feelings were something that we could talk about and something that I hoped that I could help her with.
You see, my Em is wonderfully sweet, funny, compassionate, smart and just plain fun to hang with.
However, Lizzie is little and cute, really cute and there are many times that people seem to look right past Em to notice Lizzie and there are times that Em notices their neglect and wonders why.
Em is a pretty great soccer player and can hold her own on the flag football field too, but most of the talk tends to revolve around her sister and how fast she is or tenacious she is, etc., cause she is little and cute and people just do not expect her fierceness on the field. They stop and they notice and they tell Lizzie how great she is and I know they mean well but again, many times, Em goes mostly unnoticed. I know that it has to make an impact.
So, while saying hurtful things to her sister will NOT EVER be tolerated, I know that Em needs someone to talk to who understands and she needs to know that we love her even when she has those feelings and she needs to be reminded sometimes of how uniquely made she is and that she is amazing too and that we are so very proud of her and how she loves - cause oh boy does she love!
These girls are so close
and so bonded
and even though they sometimes argue
and don't always get along,
they LOVE each other
really LOVE each other
and I have no doubt that as they grow older, Lizzie will let any and all know just how she feels about being called cute for the umpteenth time and be more than happy to share the spotlight with her amazing sister cause y'all
they are BOTH my amazing daughters and I know that they will rely on each other, care for each other, defend each other and love each other through all the stupid comments - no matter who they come from - hehe!
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