Choosing Thanks this Thanksgiving!

Pictures can sometimes be deceiving...

rode trip to Thanksgiving...

had car trouble, sigh...

made it to Thanksgiving at in-laws with beautifully decorated table...

sweet Mom-in-law sick...

got a few good shots of the boys Christian - ugh - Charlie - typical - hehe...

minus Caleb as he was sick...

got some really cute shots of the girls and their cousins...

just hours before Em revisited her Thanksgiving meal, over and over and over again...

all night long.

poor baby.

Despite all of this however...

I am so thankful to have been able to spend this time, sickness and all, with my sweet family cause ya see...

even though we had car trouble...

my amazing Hubby was able to trouble shoot, we both prayed, He answered and when we were on our way again...

Hubby and I just smiled, held hands and thanked Him...

and even though my sweet Mom-in-law was sick and yes, still managed to create that gorgeous table...

it allowed my awesome Sis-in-law and myself a wonderful opportunity to enjoy some rare time together (minus kids) to cook the Thanksgiving meal - even the turkey - which for this vegetarian was a labor of love y'all - let me tell ya...

*grin*

and even though my Caleb was sick...

he was wanting some Momma time and hugging on me all night long...

and even though Em probably never wants to eat turkey again...

sweet girl rallied by Friday, somehow managed to get no one else sick and was ready to face the loooong drive home!

So despite all the set backs, I am thankful...

I am thankful for a sweet Mom-in-law who always makes theses times so very festive and who despite sickness, was willing to dig out the turkey innards, neck and all!

Did I mention the vegetarian thing...  Bleh!!!

I am also thankful for turkey roasters, complete with instructions, and a sweet Sis-in-law who makes everything fun.

I am thankful for the flu shot (hehe) and an almost 13 teen year old who still wants Momma when he is sick.

and I am thankful for stain resistant carpet and an amazing 9 year old who can be down one minute and so up the next.

give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

1 Thessalonians 5:18

So this Thanksgiving, I am giving thanks in all circumstances...

and I am most thankful for an incredible Hubby who is choosing to be thankful too!

Happy Thanksgiving y'all!

Orphan Sunday - They Need You

I know, I know...

I missed it.

Orphan Sunday was two Sundays ago and we were in the midst of trying to cram in all of the soccer games that have been rained out this season...

however, for me...

Orphan Sunday is so much more than one Sunday a year...

it is every Sunday and every Monday, every Tuesday, every Wednesday, every Thursday, every Friday and every Saturday.

There are not many moments in my days that I don't think about, work for, pray for or grieve over orphans.

How could I not?

I look into the beautiful faces of my three Chinese daughters and am reminded that they were once orphans...

I hear the stories, their stories, their heartbreaking stories.

I live the effects of their stories on a daily basis and it - wrecks - me.

How can your heart not be shattered when you hear your precious daughter tell you that she was never hugged, never kissed goodnight, never allowed to play outside and never comforted when she called out in fear or distress.

How can your heart not be shattered when you see first hand the 18 metal cribs full of crying and eerily quiet babies and the one nanny in charge of them all and the reality of the first two years of your daughter's life comes crashing down all around you.

How can your heart not be shattered when you recall the smiles and the time and the attention and the love that you poured into your biological children as you begin to understand (in the depths of your spirit understand) the loss your precious, adopted daughters have suffered.

How can your heart not be shattered when you finally grasp that true spirit understanding that this is not just the tragic one time loss of a biological family but more fully, the loss of trust, the loss of security, the loss of worth, the loss of belonging, the loss of joy, the loss of hope and the loss of love...

this is the loss that gets tucked away in the heart.

This is the orphan's loss.

MY daughters were once orphans y'all.

That heart breaking fact is never, ever far from my heart...

as well as the fact that had we not said "yes Lord"...

we would have missed out on this...

and this...

and this...

this Divine transformation, this beauty from ashes, just serves to further burden my heart for the millions, yes millions of other orphans just waiting for their forever families to say...

Yes Lord!

Now I know not everyone feels called to adopt and I get that, however, please know that you are being called.

There are lots of different Bible translations that help us to understand and to study God's word, yet the Lord's mandate to care for the fatherless is very clear and needs no further "study guide"...

Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world.  James 1:27

"unspotted from the world"

I know this...

in the deepest parts of my heart I know this but I could not recognize it for most of my life.

I wanted neat and tidy.

I wanted safe and secure.

I wanted...

After all, I was a "good person".

I did all the things this world lays out for a "good person" to do...

but I had no clue...

I had yet to acknowledge the burden that had been placed on my heart, the burden that had weighed me down for most of my life, the burden that finally set me free.

I would never have believed, even 10 years ago, that we would have 7 precious children, that I would travel to China not once but twice, that we would be parenting three very special children and that part of my purpose in this life was to care for the fatherless...

yet here I am...

not "saving" but saved...

and all because the Lord never stopped calling me and because I finally decided to answer.

That burden on my heart that had lain dormant and just out of reach was suddenly exposed...

and in the summer of 2008, when our precious Lizzie came home...

everything changed...

we changed.

We now have hope beyond what this world offers.

We now have peace when this world lets us down.

We now have trust when circumstances are out of our control...

We now have Jesus...

all because, through one very special little girl, half a world away, He shook us to our very core and helped us to see this world through His eyes...

through His broken heart.

So bear with me here...

Did you know that (according to statistics)...

There are approximately 145 million children worldwide have lost either one or both parents.

Approximately 40 to 50 million of those children are "adoptable or would be best cared for through adoption.  Ideally that means adoption locally/indigenously first and then adoption internationally." (According to The Abba Fund Blog)

Every 2.2 seconds another child ages out with no family to support them.

Every day, 38,493 children age out.

These statistics are heart breaking and seem daunting, yet, if only...

If only... "6% to 7% of the born again Christians in the world adopted we could care for all the adoptable orphans in the world" (According to The Abba Fund Blog).

So please, if you feel the burden...

if you feel His voice calling you...

whether that call includes adopting a child or fostering a child or child care sponsorship or grants for waiting children or funding/supporting adoptive families or mission works or or or...

There are so many good programs out there; programs designed to help those precious ones who need medical treatment or better educated care; programs designed to help families hold on to their beautiful children and programs designed to help those who have aged out or who are sadly considered "unadoptable".

Just please step outside of yourself, outside of the worldly expectations of a neat and tidy life...

outside of the tangible trappings of this fallen world...

outside of all of the "things" that our society tells us we "need".

and answer that call...

cause there are millions of children who just "need" YOU!

Imagine this... the amount of money that many people spend per month on fast food could be spent to provide for a child to be removed from an institution into a loving healing home, a place where they have attention, where they have hope, where they have love and where they have life!


Lifeline China Foster Center from Lifeline Children's Services on Vimeo.

Imagine this... the amount of money that many people spend at St*rbucks each month could be spent providing medical care, education or vocational training for a child who has already aged out.


What is (un)adopted? from Lifeline Children's Services on Vimeo.

Now imagine this...  in the time it will take most of you to read this post...

approximately 135 children will age out...

now, ask me how you can help...

they are waiting...

He is waiting...

Just DO SOMETHING...

I Remember...

I remember when we celebrated your very first birthday.

You were sick with an upset tummy and a fever...

which I was to learn over the years, was just the way you did sick!

I remember when you needed me to rock you to sleep every single night and I remember holding that moment close one night as I tried to commit it to memory.

I remember that night so clearly, holding you and rocking you as I felt the years slipping away from me even then.

It had been the third time that night that you had called for me, but I was determined to soak up every single second.

It was a sweet time when all that you needed to chase your fears away was me...

oh and Bo and Ginger and Blankie and Paci...

but you get my drift!

*grin*

It was a time before school and peer pressure and soccer and part time jobs and (gulp) driving!

It was a time that I knew I would never get back...

not with you anyway.

*wink*

I remember the joy and the laughter and the tears, the skinned knees battle scars, the bruised feelings and the snuggles.

I remember the fleeting moments we had together, just the two of us and I remember the pride of watching you become a big brother, over...

and over...

and over...

and over...

and over...

again....

and while you sometimes like to complain about that...

I have watched as your heart has grown as our family has and I have marveled at the way in which you have handled our need for more independence and responsibility from you.

I have come to trust your strength and I depend on you.

I remember mourning every year that went by while looking forward to the years that were to come and enjoying the little person that you were growing into...

and now that little person is...

18 years old!

Time is a funny thing.

As I call up all of those heart memories, all of those moments that passed between us and around us...

it seems enough to fill 100 years and at the same time...

not nearly enough for you to 18 years old.

Christian, the Lord has grown you into an incredible young man who knows his own heart and who is getting to know His heart.

You are strong inside and out and you hold those you love to the same high standards from which you navigate your own life.

As I look to the future, your future...

I am filled with a longing to hang on tightly to these present moments that are quickly slipping through my fingers as they propel you toward college and that transition into adulthood...

but all the while, I know you are ready and I know the time has come...

that time that seemed so close and yet so far away that one night 16 years ago when all you needed was your stuffed animals, your blankie, your paci and me...

the time to hold you in my heart as I trust the path that He has laid out before you.

This mothering thing is hard so bear with me as we explore this next uncharted territory together...

this territory of releasing my heart to the Lord, remaining as you stumble and marveling as you recover and discover His way for you.

And the Lord will guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched places and make your bones strong; and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail. Isaiah 58:11

In those scorched places of adulthood, He will be there.  Turn to Him to quench your thirst and you will grow and thrive and help to "water" others.

We are just so proud of you and all that you are striving for.  Your determination, courage, compassion and strength will be the vehicle through which the Lord will use you.

Happy 18th birthday my precious Christian....

We love you...  always

The Answer is in the Wait

I may have mentioned before that waiting is not one of my fav things to do.

When there is something to be done, I like to "do" and waiting means not doing something...

or does it?

Over a year ago we started the process to legally change Maggie and Lucy's dates of birth.

We expected it to take a few months but were not prepared for what happened next.

Over the course of months and with the help of our wonderful lawyer, we submitted our request, along with bone scans, to our state's Department of Health and Environmental Control and we waited and in that wait we fought other battles for our girls, concentrated on doctor/therapy appointments and celebrated birthdays...

only we celebrated new birthdays...

 the birthdays that Maggie and Lucy had hand picked for themselves cause having to have this conversation with them was hard...

the conversation in which you ask them once again how old they think they are and you watch as they just look at you helplessly, unknowing...

the conversation in which you tell them that you are trying very hard to figure this out for them so they can finally answer the question that seems to get asked constantly...

"How old are you?"

So, we allowed them to pick their birthdays and my two little water babies decided that it would be oh so "cool" to have summer birthdays so that they could have summer parties, complete with swimming and ice cream!

Now, of course, DHEC had no idea that these two beautiful little girls...

these precious ones who had already suffered great loss and tragedy...

these joy-filled daughters of mine who could not even tell us how old they were or when their birthdays were...

wanted summer parties.

They did not understand how vitally important it was that the girls needed to be younger than their Chinese files made them.

They did not know and honestly, they did not ask to know.

They had a job to do and it did not include hearing this Mom's impassioned plea and after more waiting... 

they rejected our request.

So we regrouped and asked the girls' doctor to write a letter supporting the age change, which she did but not for the dates that the girls wanted, the ages that we felt were appropriate, but the ages that were supported from the bone scans that had been done.

It was a compromise, making the girls a little older than we felt they needed to be but we needed that letter...

so we compromised.

Once again, we submitted our request but this time it was accompanied by the doctor's letter as well as letters from their awesome therapists and once again, we waited...

and once again... 

our request was denied.

We were told to take it to court and allow a judge to decide.

This was not the answer we wanted, the answer that we had been praying for, the answer that we had been waiting on but we knew the Lord was with us and while there were moments of believing the doubts...

we felt His hand on this, gently but firmly guiding us to court.

I was nervous.

I was the "star witness" and while I was so ready for the wait to be over, ready to fight once again for my girls, ready to do something...

I was nervous.

I rounded up my prayer warriors and was determined to trust Him regardless of the outcome...

but I was still nervous...

and last week the Lord put us before a judge...

a judge that He had hand picked for us, only we were not to know that until later.

We arrived at the courthouse bright and early, ready for battle.  We were armed with letters from doctors and therapists as well as report cards and pictures.

We were ready, nervous but ready and then...

then we found out that out of the 4 judges present that day, we had been assigned the one judge that our lawyer did not want us to have.

This judge was said to be a stickler and sometimes cantankerous and again...

I was nervous and my heart sank a little but my prayers were raised.

As we entered the courtroom, we could see that the judge already had some of our papers in front of him.

We sat and prepared our hearts and almost as soon as our lawyer started to speak, to plead our case, the judge stopped, looked at Hubby and myself and then asked these 2 wonderful questions...

"Well, what birthdays do the girls want?  What dates have you been celebrating?"

At that moment, I knew that the Lord was right there with us and that He had been with us all along, guiding and directing to get us to this moment in front of this judge!

Through my tears I told him that the girls really did not know how old they were and that when we tried to explain all of this to them, we hoped to make it easier for them by allowing them to pick their birthdays.

I told him that the girls really wanted summer birthdays so they could have pool parties and ice cream...

and without hesitation that sweet, "cantankerous" judge said...

"Well then they should have summer birthdays and they should have pool parties!"

This judge who was known to be a "stickler", disregarded DHEC's rejection and disregarded the doctor's dates of birth to give my girls the birth dates that they wanted and by that point, the point at which Hubby and I truly grasped what had just happened...

we were in awe and we were in tears...

tears of joy, tears of relief, tears of gratitude to the One who had, right in front of our eyes, worked all of this out for our girls and at the same time, reaffirmed for us that we were right where He wanted us in this.

So with a shaky voice, I told the Judge the birthdays that the girls and we had chosen.

It did not matter to him that these dates would make them a few months younger than the doctor's letter supported, this sweet, cantankerous judge's heart was moved but it didn't end there.

After the papers were signed and made official, this judge told us a story...

a story about a sweet little girl whom he had known many years ago...

a little girl who had been adopted from China by a colleague of his...

a bright, beautiful little girl who would draw him pictures...

and then charge him .25 for each one...

*grin*

a little girl who had touched his heart so profoundly that he actually broke down in tears as he shared his heart with us...

a little girl who paved the way for the Lord to work through this judge's heart for our beautiful little girls.

So, I happily relinquished my "star witness" status to the One who shone so brightly in that courtroom that day...

the One who showed up, not to show off but to show us that we are not alone in our battles.

His timing and His plan are always perfect and while we may never know all the reasons why we had to wait as long as we did and why we had to be in front of that judge on that day...

I am learning.

I am learning that I don't always need to know and that greater things are happening, decisions and re-directions as well as times of stillness that fit seamlessly into His perfect puzzle...

that my momentary concerns should be kept just that...

in the fleeting moment...

until, eventually, from the moment of conception, they are released from my heart, bypass my head and are lifted straight up to Him.

The feeling we had on this day, this feeling of euphoria, of giddiness in His goodness, of total trust and affirmation that the Lord was right there with us and had been all along...

this feeling is how we should walk through this life.

We should want to lock it away in our hearts so that the broken-ness of this world is used to stir our hearts, not wear them down.

But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.  They will soar high on wings like eagles.  They will run and not grow weary.  They will walk and not faint.  Isaiah 40:31

Sometimes the answer is in the wait, in the trust that builds within the wait, and after this particular wait...

we now have two very happy little girls who can finally answer with confidence and security, the endlessly asked question...

"How old are you?"

Happy Pink Birthday!

So apparently my birthday gift this year was a...

hurricane!

Yes, Hurricane Joaquin decided to crash my party...

well if we had actually planned a party that is, cause it is Fall soccer season and if it is a Saturday...

we are at soccer and this Saturday was no different...

we had soccer, lots of soccer...

cause they did not ask me if it was OK to schedule games on my birthday!

The nerve!

*grin*

So, we had already planned to spend the day, 2 hours away at 3 different soccer games.

Happy birthday to me!

However, Joaquin had other plans and thought that I needed to stay home that day...

so instead of doing this with the kids...

I was doing this with the Pioneer Woman...

complete with this...

from Hubby and the girls...

yum

After my wet but yummy, non soccer, morning, my eldest informed me that he and his girlfriend were going shopping...

in the middle of the monsoon...

on my birthday!

The nerve!

*grin*

I have to admit, I fussed a little and was to later regret it.

You see, he was going shopping with his girlfriend, in the monsoon, on my birthday...

for me!

My sweet child had seen the condition of my running shoes (not good) and decided that I needed a brand new pair.

So, with the help of his sweet girlfriend, my wonderful Christian went out and bought me just that...

a brand new pair of pink running shoes!

Love that kiddo!

So now, I can do this with the Pioneer Woman...

OOPS...

I mean this...

which is needed after this...

and this...

and this...

which is the direct result of this...

*grin*

So while we ended up with a 5 day weekend from my birthday present the storm, I am very thankful that we are safe and relatively dry, except for those of us who chose to be wet!

Boys!

Please, however, pray for those who were not so fortunate as there were many.

I have been reading stories of such loss, just 2 hours up the road from us - just 2 hours...

I was here for Hurricane Hugo and I understand the shock and sense of loss they are feeling right now.

We are helping out locally but there are a few larger agencies helping as well.

If you feel so led and would like to donate, here are 2 of those agencies.

Samaritan's Purse

and

Red Cross Disaster Relief

So 52 has been relatively uneventful.

*except for that whole hurricane thing*

*wink*

What has come from my 52 years on this earth is a knowing that the Lord is where true happiness lies...

not pretty little packages or the latest procedure to help you look less 52ish...

divine happiness comes from a love and a peace that can be difficult to adequately explain to those who continually look to the world to find their way.

It has taken almost all of my 52 years to understand this...

it has taken struggle and trials and trust to truly understand this and I still have a ways to go but I am closer today than I was yesterday and I will be closer still tomorrow.

So while I have gotten used to the AARP offers...

*kind of - grin*

and the Retirement Planning letters...

*phffft - good luck there*

I have to admit that I am still so not OK with the fact that my boys can now outrun me!

Maybe, just maybe, the power of the pink will prevail...

or maybe they will just let me win!

After all, it was my birthday!!!

Faith of a Child

So the girls came home last week and told me that some boys on the bus had been teasing them.

Lucy explained that these boys would call their names constantly and for no reason.

So, of course, I began to give them all the wise counsel that a well enlightened parent would give...

cause I just know it all, right???

Well, in the midst of my highly enlightened, well informed dissertation on how to handle such situations, my dear little Lucy looked up at me and said...

"Mom, we just prayed about it"

and said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 18:3

The faith of a child!

Here I was trying to give Motherly advise...

stale "Parent's Magazine" advise... 

when I should have been giving Godly advise.  

Not to worry though cause, apparently, my girls have got it covered!

These two precious ones, who have more reason than I to question, to ask "why", to doubt or to turn away...

just trust

just expect

just believe...

that HE has got it covered!

Lord, give me the faith of a little child!

Help me to just trust, to just expect and to just believe...