Happy 21st Charlie

 Twenty-one years ago you made your grand entrance...

and it was dramatic!

 Hmm, maybe that's why you seem to like making dramatic entrances now😄

 

I know you were ready for 21...

but is 21 ready for you😉

I don't think I will ever be ready for you to be 21😏  

It just doesn't seem possible that we are 21 years away from this...

or this...

or this...

I mean I never really got used to the idea of you being a senior in high school and that whole graduating thing😉...

and now you are nearing your senior year at college and the days of Pokem*n cards and marbles and wooden blocks and sock wars have been replaced by interesting conversation and soccer in the kitchen and cheating at Uno and lots and lots of laughter.

There is still a smidge of longing for those early days that seemed hard, but that were enveloped in innocence and ease, as a "time out" corrected mistakes and the safety of my arms chased all fears (and your big brother😉) away and even though now, the mistakes can be bigger and the fears more real and more than my arms can carry...

you wear adulthood well my darlin and I realize I don't have to correct the mistakes or chase away the fears and I'm ok with that😄

Cause...

You've got this!

I can think of so many words to describe you Charlie dear...

Fun

Funny

Playful

Energetic

Charming

and

Tenderhearted 

But the very best adjective I have ever found to describe you is...

You are just so "Charlie"!!!

Love you and remember...

Just cause you can, doesn't mean you should!

Happy 21st Birthday!!!

Happy Birthday Will

This week we celebrated Will. 

On January 23rd, 2018, we met Will for the first time.

 On January 24th, 2018, Will, Hubby and I signed the official papers and he became our son.  

On January 25th, 2018, he turned 14, the age at which he would have forever lost his chance for a family and lived the rest of his life in the "second orphanage".

On January 24th, 2021, we started Will's 17th birthday celebrations a bit early. We couldn't resist taking these two out to dinner seeing as though in a few days, they will both be 17 years old... 

that is until February 12th when Caleb turns 18!!

Yikes!

We spent the evening talking about girlfriends and futures and time we could not get back and as I sit here tonight contemplating Will's "could have been"...

I am eternally grateful for what is now, his "could be".

   

 During dinner he asked me what my dream job had been when I was a little girl. The question is a simple one, but for Will it is one full of hope and an understanding of what a future is.

It has finally settled in and taken up residence in his heart and the hope is reflected in his ease.

I don't always understand but I have learned to always trust.

 On January 25th, 2021, Will turned 17 and he has the rest of his life ahead of him, a life that I am so grateful to now be a part of. 

I will never forget that first day, the day that we met our 4th son. 

He was nervous but ready. He gently took my hand and trusted. He placed his trust in those he could not see and could not understand. 

Yes, his life is better and yes, he now has a hope and a future but on the night of Will's 17th birthday, we know we are the ones with such a gift!

Will has a wisdom that comes from hard, which could have hardened him but the Lord protected his heart and that gentleness with which he took my hand has followed him home and we are blessed.

There is a difference in his pictures then and now... 

just as there is a difference in OUR pictures then and now.

He is changed but so . are . we...

Smokey Bear

So, if you remember a few weeks back, the great feral kitten wrangler had wrangeled herself a wild little black kitty. If you don't remember, you can read all about "my little prodigy" here, Crocodile Dunshe!

Both Lizzie and the kitty were in shock and scared and when they got home...

the real work began.

Sound familiar?

I watched as this precious daughter of mine fed and cared for and comforted and loved this tiny scared kitty.

It took great patience and faith as she nurtured through hissing and hiding and scratching and fear and as the days turned into weeks, she persevered because she knew.

She knew the love that was growing in her heart and that as frightened as this tiny one was...

that one day... 

he would know it too and while fear may always be a part of him...

she knows his familiar healing and now she is beginning to know ours.

And as she wrestled with the choice of finding him a good home or keeping him forever, she began to understand that as much as he needed her...

she . needed . him.

Through this tiny one, my tiny one is gifted a small glimpse into the love that grows by God's grace as He heals and restores the giver and the receiver... 

I watch her as she cares for him and I recognize the doubt and the fear and the joy and the love and the surrender and the embrace and . the . healing and it is familiar.

Lord thank you for your constant healing and the gentle way in which You care for us and restore us in ways that touch us so deeply.

So now I can officially say that we have our 2nd "grand" and he is also a CAT and his name is Smokey!

No worries Chewy, Lizzie's body may be tiny but her heart is HUGE😉!

 Besides... you are MY dog😆

You can read about our 1st "grand" here, Boots!

Now I guess I will be stuck with a name like Memaw!!

I . AM . THE . DOG . LADY!!!

I mean I could have had a cool grandma name like G-dog but noooooo...

My partner in crime rescue had to go and rescue a cute little kitten...

and oh my goodness just look at those squishy little cheeks😉

Welcome to the Ham Fam little Smokey Bear!

Deep Calls to Deep

Deep calls to deep at the sound of Your waterfalls; All Your breakers and Your waves have rolled over me.

Psalm 42:7

Depth...

I recognize it in her.

The quiet that permeates speaks volumes to me as we occupy her silence.

The unspoken words and the tears, not allowed to fall, are so familiar to me.

There is a knowing that we share, a knowing that hurts and sets apart but it is a knowing that transforms.

Most don't "know" her because they only see what she allows them to and there is so . much . more. 

She steps in silently, many times before I have even recognized the need because, unlike me at that age, she is not swimming against those strong currents that threaten to fully consume her heart. They frighten her but she is not afraid.

Her shyness overshadows the charm that is reserved for the fortunate few who persevere. 

She requires work but what you receive is an invitation to a heart that is full and ready to give.

At 14 years old, she is embracing the heart she was given - something that took me 40+ years to yield to.

Her beautiful blend of timidity and confidence endears her to those who look past her surroundings to really see her and her acts of grace, which are so natural for her that they are not spectacular, but just a part of her.

She laughs at herself - something that I still have not yielded to😉

I know her humility and it will help her at times and hinder her at others but she is learning to walk by faith.

It is a delicate balance to traverse the path between this world and the next. Sometimes the dance between the two is seamless, gracefully flowing in harmony as you influence without loosing your own footing. Sometimes it less like a dance and more like a tug of war as you choose between the moment and the word. 

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:2

My dearest Emmeline, the Lord has entrusted you with much...  

"you were made for such a time as this"

Continue to release your heart and loose your "self" in the dance that He has so beautifully choreographed for you.