Waiting...

and preparing

As I sit here tonight waiting to hear when our consulate date is, I can't help but to think back over the last year and a half.  

So many things that just did not make sense are beginning to.

Waiting has never come easy to me.

Patience was something just out of my reach for most of my life.

Control was something that Hubby and I relied on to function and to feel "safe".

However, through this past year and a half of struggle and wait and lack of control...

We have arrived at a place of peace

a place of trust

a place of "bring it on Lord", cause we know that Your plan is always for our good...

even if it doesn't always feel that way.

He has really been showing me that being one of His children, doesn't come with a promise of a grand and easy life.

That is the lie of our fallen society.

To most in this world, being successful and happy means that you have wealth or power or position or fame or, simply a couple of kiddos, a nice, quiet, trouble free life with yearly vacations and a good, safe retirement.

However, what He has been revealing to me lately is that there is so much more and that true success and happiness comes in honest and utter submission to...

"whatever Lord"

Where is the glory in fame?

Where is the glory in our safe lives?

Believe me, Hubby and I are still working on this but we are closer today than we were yesterday and I pray that we will be closer tomorrow than we are today.

It is hard to let go of dreams, of expectations and of safety nets.

That last one is SO hard for me but He has been working (extra hard - hehe) on us, on reshaping our dreams and expectations and safeness. Still, some days we get it and other days, not so much but we are trying and tonight...

all I can think of is our two beautiful daughters waiting for us on the other side of the world.

All I can think of is the struggles they have endured, the heartaches, the fear, the loneliness, the good byes and the wait.

Yep, this wait has been hard on us but they... they have been waiting for almost all of their lives to feel loved, to feel secure, to feel like they belong and that just breaks this Momma's heart.

Nope, some things just don't make sense and may never make sense in this fallen world but the one thing that does, is His unending love for us and His promise of redemption, not the promise of a good life but the best life - the life to come!

There is a particular song that He has been placing on my heart lately.  It is "Whom Shall I Fear" by Chris Tomlin.

On many different anxious ridden moments, He brought this song to my heart but two in particular stand out as in each moment, I heard the sweetest little voice emerge out of the back seat of my car. 

 First it was my Emmeline sweetly singing, "I know who goes before me.  I know who stands behind.  The God of angel armies is always by my side."

and then on a completely different day, it was my Lizzie who was just as sweetly singing the exact same verse from this awesome song.

over and over

They did not know the words to the rest of the song but at that moment in time, they didn't need to.

That was all I needed.

Thank you Lord!

You see, it is not about this life but all about the life to come and I am being taught that I can withstand the troubles and the trials and I can do it in a way that brings Him glory.

I can have peace in the "waits" of this life and joy in letting go and while surrendering my life to Him might appear to be more trouble than it is worth...

what is worth more than everlasting life, everlasting love, everlasting peace?

I think I will happily endure the temporary struggle here for his promise of what is to come.

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 

So now we prepare our home and our hearts to welcome our two precious daughters whose wait for a family is almost over.

Thank you Lord - Lucy and Maggie are coming home!