Saturday, February 27, 2016

Waiting...

I find myself in this waiting room...

waiting.

My sweet Mom is having surgery today and I would be no where else than here...

waiting.

I don't wait much at this time in my life. Between the demands of 7 kids, 3 dogs, 2 crazy cats, constant medical appointments, school, soccer, work and one equally as busy Hubby...

there is no time for waiting...

so this time of waiting is strange and I find my heart wandering.

I find my heart turning to those sweet life moments that filled my growing up.

My childhood was not perfect but it was not supposed to be as this world is not a perfect place.

However, slightly imperfect in this fallen world is mostly good and my childhood was wrapped in love and in security. We were treasured and taken care of. We knew that we had a home, a family and a future.

I remember, even as a very young child, understanding that this was something to be valued, something that not everyone had and this reality was something that I could not wrap my heart around. Looking back, I can see the molding and the shaping and the process. Now, I can understand my inability to turn off the heart heavy emotions. I can understand my desire for the world to be a gentler place and my disappointment when it was not but back then, it was confusing and isolating for me. Back then, I felt different, now I just feel motivated.

So as I sit here and wait, I am waiting with the heart of a beloved daughter who knows love and has known love.

I am also sitting here waiting with the heart of a broken mother who knows redemption, who knows transformation, who has witnessed healing and beauty from ashes.

I wait for my Mother as my heart turns to all those precious ones who wait for theirs. I have been loved by my Mother for almost 53 years now and I am loving my children just as it was modeled for me. Our home is filled with love and hugs and kisses and laughter and my heart just cannot let go of those beautiful ones who will never call anyone, “mom or dad”, those who will never know the joy of riding on Daddy's shoulders or the security of being wrapped in Mommie's arms.

As I wait for my Mother, I think about how long and how patiently the Lord waited on me and I feel worthy, worthy of being pursued, worthy of being waited on and worthy of being loved! I understand how much I am loved in this life and the life to come and I want that for all those who don't have that, for all those who have never had that and for all those who are in danger of never having that...

and y'all, there are so, so many...

the statistics are heartbreaking but beyond the stats...

what I have seen with my own eyes...


heard from my own daughters' lips...

experienced through their own past traumas...

has brought this heartbreaking reality to life for me. This real, raw, tangible reality, hugs me close, not wanting to ever let go.

No longer do I wonder why my heart is burdened as that unknown pull on my heart...

now calls me, “Mom”...

as these three beautiful, once waiting orphans...




are now my three beautiful, beloved daughters, who wave goodbye to me as they go to school, who asked to be tucked in and kissed goodnight, who write me sweet notes and ask me to kiss their boo boos. They share their lives with me, their hopes and their dreams and yes, sometimes their past and again, my thoughts turn to those who are still waiting.

I am waiting on my Mom to be taken to recovery...

they are waiting just to have a Mom.

I think back on all the beautiful, loving memories I have with my Mom...

while they wait to, one day, have those kind of memories to hold close and grow from...

I think of the days to come, when I will have the privilege of taking care of my Mom and I can't help but think of those who long to have that kind of connection, that kind of chance to express all the love that is protected within their precious hearts.

Lord, I pray that one day, every child who feels unworthy, will know you and feel worthy.

I pray that every child who feels forgotten, will know you and feel pursued.

I pray that every child who feels unloved, will know you and feel love...

and I pray that every child who waits, will wait no more.

So I am waiting...

but my wait is filled with love and with hope...

too many children wait without love and without hope and sadly, for so many, their wait never ends.

I pray that more and more families, more and more churches, will rise up for these children. We must step outside of our comfortable and into their hard. We weren't promised easy but we were promised heaven and I can tell you that it is through the hard that we have glimpsed heaven.

We are His hands and feet and He is calling us to them, whether or not it is adoption or adoption support or sponsorship or caring for those who will never be adopted or or or...

There are over 100 million orphans in the world, but...

there are 2.2 billion Christians!

Be their voice, be their hope, be their future, be their family...

ask me how

Monday, February 22, 2016

Farm Family Reunion 2016

Next to E. Beach, this is my most fav spot on earth.


It holds lots of memories for my family and me.


It is a place to relax...


to play...





to reconnect...




to unplug...




and to make more memories!





It is a place of firsts...


and seconds...


and thirds...


*aw shucks - hehe*

We don't get there as often as we would like to but Saturday was one of those very special days when it just all seemed to come together and even though it is February...


the weather was PERFECT...


the farm was beautiful, thanks to my amazing brother and his awesome family...


and the time spent was reminiscent of many other times past...


just minus a few beloved ones.



Thank you Lord for such a beautiful day...


for such a beautiful time of remembering and of new memory making.

Friday, February 19, 2016

Short but Sweet

We only had her for a short period of time...


but sweet Pepper left her "mark"...


puppy teeth are sharp!

*grin*

This cute little pup was only 5 pounds when we took her on as a foster...


but she quickly grew in size as well as in our hearts.


Pepper's time with us was brief...


shorter than any of our other fosters...


but she snuggled her way in each of our hearts...


and as hard as her departure was, it seemed to serve a purpose, another step toward healing, only not for Pepper but for our sweet Maggie.


I don't share much here about our Maggie's past as it is her story to tell...

but it is a heartbreaking story and one that she has protected herself from, for a very long time...

and as much as sweet Pepper seemed to reach Maggie, it was her departure to her furever home that really seemed to help crumble some of Maggie's walls...


and while that was incredibly hard on both of us...

the Lord gave me the clarity to see the progress, see the raw emotion and see the healing.

As I told my precious Maggie...

"Having to say good-bye is hard and I am very sad because of all of the hard good-bye's you have had in your life."

She cried and I cried and the Lord continues to heal.

Sweet Pepper, on the other hand, is headed to an incredible furever home with no kids and no other dogs...

Ahhhhhhhhh......

Oops, sorry, got lost in the "no kids and no dogs" moment.

*wink*

I see absolutely no spoiling in her future!


Ha!

Dear sweet Pepper, you are loved and you are missed but you are going to have a wonderful life with your new family and as for us...

sadly, there are so, so many other "Peppers" out there who are dying (literally - sigh) to have their chance at a furever home too...

Lord the world is broken but You take the broken and make it beautiful. 


Thank you for providing us those glimpses of "beautiful".

Tuesday, February 2, 2016

He Made It!!!

Charlie actually made it to 16!!!


I know...


There were times that we wondered...

as there have been a few bumps and bruises along the way...


sigh...


There were times that we secretly wished for a full body helmet...


seriously...


*grin*

but, thankfully, now our wonderful, sweet, fun little boy...


has turned into a wonderful, sweet and fun big boy...


who drives...  GULP!


and dates...  EEK!


Thank goodness she is so awesome and doesn't like sky diving either...

cause...

for his birthday, Charlie wanted to go sky diving!

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

Um, we painted his room for him instead...


as we have not yet purchased that full body helmet!

*wink*

Oh my precious Charlie, how I love the way you make others happy without even trying...

the way your enthusiasm is contagious but you never take yourself too seriously...

 the way your impish little 3 year old grin has never left you...

the way you want to be a veterinarian - family/volume discount - riiiiiight...


how I love the way you complain about the noise and the craziness - when you are the cause of most of it!

Bwhahaha

and oh how I love the way you love... faithfully, playfully and loyally.


We get two more years with you at home before unleashing you on the rest of the world...

doesn't seem like nearly enough time...

for me...

or for the rest of the world...

*wink*

Precious Charlie, you are a wonderful combination of coolness, goofiness, sweetness and just the right amount of "chill"!

I love watching as the Lord awakens your awareness of the way in which He can work within you and His perfect plans for you...

which do not include sky diving...

I hope!

We are so proud of you wonderful Charlie


Happy 16th!