Really???
We have been home one month already!!!
WOW!
As with all things, in some ways it seems like just yesterday that we met Lucy and Maggie for the first time...
in other ways, it seems like a lifetime ago.
I can tell ya that right now, by the end of each and everyday, I feel like I have lived a lifetime!
Yep, as hard as all that adoption paperwork is, the sleeves are now rolled up and the real work has begun.
I think most of you all could tell that our trip was rough at times .
The girls' mobility issues and emotional scars were a tough reality in China but couple that with their devastating reality that our hearts were broken by and you have got yourself one, long trip that was both emotionally and physically draining...
and I was angry y'all.
I was angry at what we saw, the conditions these precious children lived in, knowing that this, compared to some parts of the world, this was the Ritz!
Unfathomable
I was angry and I didn't quite know who to be angry with.
I saw the effects these conditions had on our girls and it broke me, and again, I was angry but this time, honestly, I think I was mostly angry with the Lord because I could not understand why I did not feel totally and completely equipped...
I could not understand why He hadn't just waved his magic wand and fully equipped me for their needs, both physical and emotional, equipped me for the things He revealed to us, the knowledge of what our girls (esp little Lucy) had lived pre-us...
and I was angry.
It took me a while to understand that I was being equipped...
day by day...
step by step...
struggle by struggle and...
joy by joy.
I was scared and did not want to be.
I was exhausted and did not want to be.
I was out of my comfort zone and did not want to be...
but in this place, I had to rely on Him...
daily.
In this place, He could be glorified...
daily.
As I look back over the last month, I am in awe of how He has continued to equip and to bless us and yet, I still had to work through my anger, my fear, my flesh.
This is hard, but not as nearly as hard as it could be and that reality is now, finally, settling in.
Yep, I am exhausted and don't have much time for anything (like posting on my blog - hehe) but just when I think I am done, the Lord equips me and right now, I think I am right where I am supposed to be...
in daily dependance on Him!
So, even though you are not hearing from me very often these days, please know that we are tired but good!
Really good!
Lucy and Maggie have had such wonderful transitions. I mean truthfully, my transition from 5 to 7 kiddos without Hubby here during the week has been harder than their transitions into our loud and crazy family!
They are happy and although we have had some squabbles and some tears, they are mostly just happy and make everyone who meets them, smile!
Wouldn't you smile too???
They are not speaking much English yet but will say "Hello, how are you?" and "potty" and "gentle" and "sorry" and "hungry" and my fav, "Love you Momma!"
They like to eat and love to laugh.
They love to cheer their siblings on in Cross Country and Soccer.
They love to play dress up and barbies and baby dolls.
They love to do "school work" and are making slow but steady progress.
Maggie can sing her ABC's and count to 10 well. Sweet little Lucy has a hard time even following a dotted line much less counting but she actually drew lines to match shapes this week and that was HUGE for her!
They love to color and have me hang their pics on the fridge.
What must be going through their precious minds??
They LOVE to be tucked in at night! I swear I think that is their favorite part of the whole day!
There is such joy and contentment on their beautiful faces as I am kissing them goodnight.
How this fills my heart and breaks it all at the same time!
They think their siblings are funny and loud and sweet and they love them dearly and miss them when they are at school!
Our other kids' hearts have just welcomed without question and loved without hesitation!
I learn so much from their precious hearts.
Most of all, Maggie and Lucy are loving their new family and are always up for the next Ham Fam adventure and while my work load has increased significantly since they came home, as my sweet, amazing Lizzie told me...
"Mom, it has been a lot busier since Maggie
and Lucy came home but there has been a lot more love too. That is
Jesus, right Momma?"
Right baby girl - that is Jesus!
More to come, promise! Hang in there with me!
