Sunday, September 8, 2013

I am So Sorry!

I never thought I would be that blogger...

you know the one...

the one who posts and posts until...  they get home and then...


Drives me crazy!

and yet here I am - not posting!

So I apologize!

It is not from lack of wanting to post but more from lack of time, energy and the ability to post all the blessings without being able to process all the images that haunt me, all the images that fill my heart every single day.

This trip was hard y'all and I cannot get through a day without thinking about all those precious ones we met and held and loved on...

all those precious ones who are still waiting and many whose wait will never end.

I am still trying to decide how best to use these images, how best to help these precious ones and I am confused and angry and sad and want to just forget, to push these images from my heart because it hurts, it is uncomfortable and hard.

Right now, all I want is to be a mom and just love on my children because it feels safer and doesn't hurt but these images keep flooding my heart and I know that I will have to do something, sometime, when the time is right, when it is His time and His way.

For now, though, I am being a mom and even though "being a mom" is not as easy as it was a month ago, it is what feels right for "right now".

So, we have been home a little over a week and it is amazing the progress we are seeing.

There are still challenges for sure and I know that the challenges will continue but there is progress.

Bringing home 2 older girls with CP is not easy.
We knew that going in, but faced with the day in and day out reality of their needs has been difficult and I have found myself a little angry and disappointed that I don't feel as equipped as I thought I would be, as I thought He promised me I would be.

I am now understanding, however, that He is equipping me day by day, moment by moment and that has been such a lesson for me - daily reliance.  

Tough stuff but I am learning to find the blessings in each moment and not to get lost in the long road ahead - progress!!

OK, I know you don't want me to ramble on when what you really want are pics, so here are just a few pics from our first week.

Coming home!

I cannot describe what it felt like to see all those familiar, beautiful, caring faces when we got off that plane and when I saw our other children...


Learning how to manage going up the stairs

with the help of a pretty cool sister...

who is SO excited about her new sisters.

Discovering our closets...
and picking out the fanciest dresses to wear.
Poor Hubby!!!
 Figuring out how to go back down the stairs

without breaking an arm or leg or Momma's back!

Doing a little OT work...
and a little schooling!

Maggie put all those numbers in order, all by herself!

And finally, we got a little slice of "normal" today.


Christian had a soccer game and I could not wait to go...

to take the girls...

to watch him play and cheer him on and just have it be a "normal" day

and it was and I found my blessing today!

Has this been hard?


Has this been wonderful?


Will I continue to blog?



There is so much going on in my head and in my heart and I just need time.
Oh and no more jet lag please!
Hang in there with me!!


  1. LOVE the pics, Annie! And we ALL understand "re-entry shock!" I love seeing your heart in Emmeline - she is precious with her new sisters.

  2. Precious post and pictures. :)

  3. Annie Hamlin! Do not apologize for not blogging! I'd say you have just a little bit going on to keep you away from the computer:-) But I do love reading your entries and I LOVE the pictures!! Remember exhaustion (jet lag) can make everything harder! It will all look brighter soon. I can imagine the shock to your system this must be...hard stuff! Oh gosh all those sweet smiles must melt your heart!

  4. No apologizing, missy! Although......I have missed ya! Just keep will will pass......the first weeks home with Julia were hard, too. But, the other side is so great! Things improve.....Yay!

  5. I love this update and all the pictures. Everyone looks so happy...although I know there have been some tough times.

    PS. Being a soccer mom myself...I love the great shot of your son!

  6. I'm so glad to see you all home safe and sound.....not to mention smiling faces:) This adoption journey we have taken has HARD written all over it but we totally understood that didn't we! Praying for your sweet family as you all muddle through all the adjustments. We have been home 1 1/2 years with Janie and our new normal is just that now "normal", some days harder than others yet such an enormous blessing and testament of God's love for each of us and all the short comings we have. I thank you for your transparency, I feel so many blogs show a joyful, happy, "perfect ending" of adoption instead of the day in day out HARD that we have all encountered. Our one and only "happy ending" is only promised when we reach heaven. These children push us closer to God daily as we care for their needs....that is the true beauty of adoption which you have shown so well in your post. Praying for you all my friend!!

  7. Oh my goodness, I'm surprised you have time to even think, let alone blog! It's wonderful to see the updates, but that doesn't mean you should feel bad even for a split second if you can't get to them! :)

    At some point in the future (!), I wonder if you'd consider blogging about the nitty-gritty of daily living with CP, from both children's and parents' point of view. There are several kids on waiting children sites with this condition who've tugged at my heart, and I (and maybe others?) would love to be able to wrap my mind around what life would actually look like day-to-day.....

  8. Oh, I can't believe you even had time to write this! LOVED reading it and seeing the photos of your beautiful family. What a story you are going to have to share and so many stories of the children you encountered. I cannot wait to see how God puts you to work for those children. :) Enjoy your beautiful family and I hope the jet lag is gone very, very soon!

  9. So amazing to see you home and being "normal"!!! Praying for your transition!!!

  10. God bless your family. You guys are amazing!!!

  11. This is just amazing! I can't think of big enough words to describe the excitement I feel for you! I'll just have to SQUEAL!

  12. I promise every time I see a pic of Lucy, I see an older Evie... SWEET friends (sisters)!!! XOXO

  13. LOVED hearing your update. I know it must be so so so so so so hard. Hang in there. It's so worth it. Even in the thick of it when you just want to run and hide and cry. Little by little, progress one step at a time. Go for progress, even if it's tiny! Much love and prayers!!

  14. Great to see an update and keeping it real. I am so scared to see the orphanage when we finally go get our girl. I know the images with hurt and haunt my heart, they already do and I have only seen photos.

    Love the soccer photos

  15. Thanks so much for the update. Heart rejoice with ur family. Winnie

  16. Thank you ever so much for the update!! God is so good!

  17. These pictures are so gorgeous! Sweet Em helping her sisters up and down the stairs, (She is over the moon with them - you can just tell looking at her face!), Lizzie and Lucy laughing, and my absolute favorite - all FOUR of your beautiful girls with those parasols! Do the girls start physical therapy soon? Many kids with CP can use forearm crutches (although some use posterior walkers), and as someone who uses forearm crutches myself, I find it easier to ascend stairs using crutches and scarier to descend, so I slide down on my butt as well :-) I live in a wheelchair-accessible apartment now, but I grew up in a house with a basement, first floor, second floor, and attic - and spent lots of time on all three floors! Depending on their walking ability, you might consider getting inexpensive secondhand wheelchairs that they can self-propel (not strollers); I've seen too many kids with spina bifida struggle with behavior issues over not being able to self-propel. I have no idea what the girls' mobility levels are, though, and with intensive therapy, you may be very surprised ---- but I know you did your research and you know all this stuff already :-)

  18. Such gorgeous, heartwarming photos. You made me tear up at work! What a wonderful family you have there, Annie. I love the photo of Emm with her new sisters. The photo of the girls with their parasols just cracked me up.

  19. Can't wait to hear the rest of the story! So glad the girls are getting along with their siblings and adjusting well!