I find myself in this
waiting room...
waiting.
My sweet Mom is having
surgery today and I would be no where else than here...
waiting.
I don't wait much at this
time in my life. Between the demands of 7 kids, 3 dogs, 2 crazy
cats, constant medical appointments, school, soccer, work and one
equally as busy Hubby...
there is no time for
waiting...
so this time of waiting is
strange and I find my heart wandering.
I find my heart turning to
those sweet life moments that filled my growing up.
My childhood was not
perfect but it was not supposed to be as this world is not a perfect
place.
However, slightly
imperfect in this fallen world is mostly good and my childhood
was wrapped in love and in security. We were treasured and taken
care of. We knew that we had a home, a family and a future.
I remember, even as a very
young child, understanding that this was something to be valued,
something that not everyone had and this reality was something that I
could not wrap my heart around. Looking back, I can see the molding
and the shaping and the process. Now, I can understand my inability
to turn off the heart heavy emotions. I can understand my desire for
the world to be a gentler place and my disappointment when it was not
but back then, it was confusing and isolating for me. Back then, I
felt different, now I just feel motivated.
So as I sit here and wait,
I am waiting with the heart of a beloved daughter who knows love and
has known love.
I am also sitting here
waiting with the heart of a broken mother who knows redemption, who
knows transformation, who has witnessed healing and beauty from
ashes.
I wait for my Mother as my
heart turns to all those precious ones who wait for theirs. I have
been loved by my Mother for almost 53 years now and I am loving my
children just as it was modeled for me. Our home is filled with love
and hugs and kisses and laughter and my heart just cannot let go of
those beautiful ones who will never call anyone, “mom or dad”,
those who will never know the joy of riding on Daddy's shoulders or
the security of being wrapped in Mommie's arms.
As I wait for my Mother, I
think about how long and how patiently the Lord waited on me and I
feel worthy, worthy of being pursued, worthy of being waited on and
worthy of being loved! I understand how much I am loved in this life
and the life to come and I want that for all those who don't have
that, for all those who have never had that and for all those who are
in danger of never having that...
and y'all, there are so,
so many...
the statistics are
heartbreaking but beyond the stats...
what I have seen with my
own eyes...
heard from my own
daughters' lips...
experienced through their
own past traumas...
has brought this
heartbreaking reality to life for me. This real, raw, tangible
reality, hugs me close, not wanting to ever let go.
No longer do I wonder why
my heart is burdened as that unknown pull on my heart...
now calls me, “Mom”...
as these three beautiful, once waiting orphans...
are now my three
beautiful, beloved daughters, who wave goodbye to me as they go to
school, who asked to be tucked in and kissed goodnight, who write me
sweet notes and ask me to kiss their boo boos. They share their
lives with me, their hopes and their dreams and yes, sometimes their
past and again, my thoughts turn to those who are still waiting.
I am waiting on my Mom to
be taken to recovery...
they are waiting just to
have a Mom.
I think back on all the
beautiful, loving memories I have with my Mom...
while they wait to, one
day, have those kind of memories to hold close and grow from...
I think of the days to
come, when I will have the privilege of taking care of my Mom and I
can't help but think of those who long to have that kind of
connection, that kind of chance to express all the love that is
protected within their precious hearts.
Lord, I pray that one day,
every child who feels unworthy, will know you and feel worthy.
I pray that every child
who feels forgotten, will know you and feel pursued.
I pray that every child
who feels unloved, will know you and feel love...
and I pray that every
child who waits, will wait no more.
So I am waiting...
but my wait is filled with
love and with hope...
too many children wait
without love and without hope and sadly, for so many, their wait
never ends.
I pray that more and more
families, more and more churches, will rise up for these children.
We must step outside of our comfortable and into their hard. We
weren't promised easy but we were promised heaven and I can tell you
that it is through the hard that we have glimpsed heaven.
We are His hands and feet
and He is calling us to them, whether or not it is adoption or
adoption support or sponsorship or caring for those who will never be
adopted or or or...
There are over 100 million
orphans in the world, but...
there are 2.2 billion
Christians!
Be their voice, be their
hope, be their future, be their family...
ask me how
