Sunday, March 24, 2013

An Orphan

An orphan

That is a term that I use sparingly when talking about a child

A term that I never use for Lucy because she is our daughter, however, at this moment in time, the reality is...

she is an orphan and the other day, her reality came crashing down on me like a ton of bricks.

Through a wonderful contact, a God given contact, the Lord is preparing my heart and giving me a glimpse into Lucy's reality...

an orphan's reality.

We received some pictures and video of our precious girl a few weeks back and as grateful as I am to have them, these particular glimpses broke my heart and the reality that is our daughter's life right now, as well as so many other precious children, just took my breath away.

In every single picture and all throughout the 2 videos they sent, my sweet Lucy was sad and in tears.

Now, I know that she could have just been feeling sick or tired (we were told she wanted to go to bed) or wasn't allowed to do something she wanted to do (like go to bed), or, or, or – but the hopelessness that was so evident on her beautiful face spoke to me in a way that looking at hundreds of files of waiting children, watching their videos and reading of their struggles, could not...

Lucy's pictures and videos shone a glaring light on the reality of so many “orphans”

It was so hard to sit here and stare at those pictures, watch those video and listen to her cry and Lucy's reality slowly began to seep into every inch of this Momma's heart.

I mean this is what I do - every - single - day...

I read files, I watch videos, I look at pictures - of - orphans and their reality is never far from my heart.

I remember one night, after reading several heart breaking files and praying over several sweet, precious faces, I reviewed a video before I posted it to my site and there in that video was the cutest little 4 year old boy.

As I read his file and watched his adorable video, one of the very few shows I watch on t.v. - H*use H*nters happened to come on.

As I watched this incredible little boy who, despite his circumstances was full of joy, this child whose special need will make him wait longer than he should, who was smiling and laughing and waiting, this very nice couple on H*ouse H*unters was trying to find their dream second home in Florida. This very nice couple who, I am certain worked very hard to be able to make this happen was complaining about every single beautiful home they looked at. One didn't have granite counter tops, one didn't have a pool, one didn't have this or that or the other thing and all the while, this precious boy was smiling for the camera, performing for his “hoped for” forever family and the contrast between these two realities was sobering.

I sobbed.

I sobbed for this boy, this orphan.

I sobbed for this couple whom I know nothing at all about, who could very well give lots of their well earned money to charity and make missions trips every summer, but whom, to me, at that moment in time, represented everything in this fallen world that is so altogether backwards, everything that society thinks is important, the symbols of success, the taking care of #1 mentality.

I sobbed for the beautiful aging out girl whom I have been advocating for, for so long, whose file brought me to my knees when, as I was reading it, I realized what they were preparing her for.

It was obvious as I read her update and saw that she was in “school” to learn massage, physical training, computer, hair cut, and labor skills...

that they were preparing her to age out - at 14 - and for her, that is less than one year away.

I sobbed as I considered our Lord's words...

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

James 1:27

“look after widows and orphans”

“keep oneself from being polluted by the world”

Pretty clear and powerful words.

I do not think there is anything at all wrong with being financially blessed by the Lord but I do know that the Lord had to bring Hubby and myself to our knees financially to get our attention and I am so incredibly grateful that He did and...

He is not done with us yet.

The Lord is doing a good and mighty work within my dear Hubby's heart and I hope to be able to elaborate a bit more in the coming weeks.

So please pray with me for these precious children, these orphans, for more and more hearts to be moved for their plight, their reality and for our Lucy, soon to be no longer an orphan and for our family as we pray through what the Lord's will is for us right now and stay tuned.


  1. Oh Annie, these photos, this post makes me sad. Sweet girl. I want to scoop her up, hug her, wash her face and then snuggle up next to her on her bed until she drifts off. So, I can only imagine what You want to do! Soon, sweet Sister, soon.
    Oh, how I wish I were able to buy a second home in Florida! Because, I....would NOT! I would be bringing your girl home to you! And, there would be NO 13 year old being prepared to age out!
    Heaven can not come soon enough!! I love you, Annie. And, I am praying for your daughter's precious heart to be covered from any pain. ~ Jo

  2. House Hunters is one of our favorite shows. These people have a boat load of money, My wonder and wish is that they would give and give big to orphans. and then I get really greedy and wish they would give to me so I could adopt one more (I know we could somehow make one more happen but the money scares my hubby so much that he is not on board). Looking at profiles of orphans is something I do daily and I wonder why. It breaks my heart and I continue do do it. WHY???

    I can't wait to see your sweet sad girl in your arms. Happy and full with a family of her own.

    1. Dear Amy, thank you. Prayers for your sweet heart.

  3. Oh this breaks my heart, Annie! I couldn't help thinking the transformation we will see when she's in your family! If only she could know what awaits her NOW! She is just so precious! I hope you can get her soon!


  4. I totally get where you're at. This is a mental struggle I deal with every day. And just last night, Ansley and Ashlyn were giving me a leg/foot/hand massage and Ashlyn told us that her blind friend at her institution taught her how to do it... It is so sickening to measure our "first world pains" with those who truly know what suffering feels and looks like.

    1. Oh Rebecca! Heartbreaking! The kiddos on the shared list tend to wait a long time! Sigh.

  5. Amen Annie...this too is how my husband and I feel and just pray that other people will catch the vision. Praying for your sweet girl and your family.

  6. Awe Annie..I see that God is doing a mighty work in you and your family. I know that those pictures are so hard to look at....but God has her tears. Keep looking straight my dear friend....
    How is your funding coming????

    1. It is amazing dear Tammy. The Lord has really put a peace in my heart about the funding:)

  7. I hear ya! And......the suspense is killing me! GAH!

    1. Hehe! Hopefully you wont have to wait too long!

  8. Dear Sweet Annie~
    There are NO words! My heart breaks for her, for you, for the ones that will be left even after Lucy comes home to you. I look at these photos and think about Evie being there in that room with her. More than anything I wish they could have come home at the same time!!! Thank you for allowing us to pray with you for her, the hospital, and all the precious ones there with her. I pray you all can travel very soon and you are in my heart/thoughts constantly!!!
    I love you!

    1. Thank you dear Sharon! It helps me so much to be able to watch your precious Evie's progress! Thank you so much for your precious prayers!

  9. My heart breaks with what breaks yours!!

  10. Annie, I love you and your heart. Girl I sit here and weep with you. I am sitting here right now trying to imagine my 16 year old trapped in a world like you are trying to politely hint about. I can not. I just want to SHOUT and wake people up!!!! I was once asleep like everyone most, but being awakened to the reality of the orphan and the anguish they suffer every day has opened and stretched my heart to the point of wanting to explode. My prayer is that the Lord would show your family clearly what direction to follow and that nothing would hinder you progress. Hey, by the way my friend, I am leaving for the airport in 21 hours! Blossom mama is counting down!

    1. EEK!!!!!!! Oh my sweet Pam!!!!! I cannot wait to see beautiful Blossom right where she belongs - in her wonderful Momma's arms! Oh my!! Praise the Lord!!! You have waited so long and been so faithful!

  11. I pray everyday for my husband to change his mind about us adopting again. He says three is enough, but I know in my heart that God is calling us to adopt 2 more girls from the special focus list. So I continue to pray for his heart to be changed and for others to see the great need orphans have.
    How is your adoption coming, you haven't said where you are in the process lately?
    God Bless, Cara

    1. Keep praying dear Cara! the Lord is working in my hubby's heart and I pray He will in your Hubby's as well!

  12. Thank you for this post. It was shared by a friend on facebook. I will in turn share it with others. Something is completely wrong with living in the "World's Economy" vs. living in "God's Economy". God bless your family, Lucy and all of the others waiting for their forever home.

  13. One of the most beautiful, heartfelt posts I have ever read! You spoke what I could not so eloquently have said, yet it is my heart's burden. Praying for your precious DAUGHTER! Praying she comes home soon!!!

  14. Oh Annie, what a beautiful, truthful post. We're waiting and praying for God's provision... Terry