The Answer is in the Wait

I may have mentioned before that waiting is not one of my fav things to do.

When there is something to be done, I like to "do" and waiting means not doing something...

or does it?

Over a year ago we started the process to legally change Maggie and Lucy's dates of birth.

We expected it to take a few months but were not prepared for what happened next.

Over the course of months and with the help of our wonderful lawyer, we submitted our request, along with bone scans, to our state's Department of Health and Environmental Control and we waited and in that wait we fought other battles for our girls, concentrated on doctor/therapy appointments and celebrated birthdays...

only we celebrated new birthdays...

 the birthdays that Maggie and Lucy had hand picked for themselves cause having to have this conversation with them was hard...

the conversation in which you ask them once again how old they think they are and you watch as they just look at you helplessly, unknowing...

the conversation in which you tell them that you are trying very hard to figure this out for them so they can finally answer the question that seems to get asked constantly...

"How old are you?"

So, we allowed them to pick their birthdays and my two little water babies decided that it would be oh so "cool" to have summer birthdays so that they could have summer parties, complete with swimming and ice cream!

Now, of course, DHEC had no idea that these two beautiful little girls...

these precious ones who had already suffered great loss and tragedy...

these joy-filled daughters of mine who could not even tell us how old they were or when their birthdays were...

wanted summer parties.

They did not understand how vitally important it was that the girls needed to be younger than their Chinese files made them.

They did not know and honestly, they did not ask to know.

They had a job to do and it did not include hearing this Mom's impassioned plea and after more waiting... 

they rejected our request.

So we regrouped and asked the girls' doctor to write a letter supporting the age change, which she did but not for the dates that the girls wanted, the ages that we felt were appropriate, but the ages that were supported from the bone scans that had been done.

It was a compromise, making the girls a little older than we felt they needed to be but we needed that letter...

so we compromised.

Once again, we submitted our request but this time it was accompanied by the doctor's letter as well as letters from their awesome therapists and once again, we waited...

and once again... 

our request was denied.

We were told to take it to court and allow a judge to decide.

This was not the answer we wanted, the answer that we had been praying for, the answer that we had been waiting on but we knew the Lord was with us and while there were moments of believing the doubts...

we felt His hand on this, gently but firmly guiding us to court.

I was nervous.

I was the "star witness" and while I was so ready for the wait to be over, ready to fight once again for my girls, ready to do something...

I was nervous.

I rounded up my prayer warriors and was determined to trust Him regardless of the outcome...

but I was still nervous...

and last week the Lord put us before a judge...

a judge that He had hand picked for us, only we were not to know that until later.

We arrived at the courthouse bright and early, ready for battle.  We were armed with letters from doctors and therapists as well as report cards and pictures.

We were ready, nervous but ready and then...

then we found out that out of the 4 judges present that day, we had been assigned the one judge that our lawyer did not want us to have.

This judge was said to be a stickler and sometimes cantankerous and again...

I was nervous and my heart sank a little but my prayers were raised.

As we entered the courtroom, we could see that the judge already had some of our papers in front of him.

We sat and prepared our hearts and almost as soon as our lawyer started to speak, to plead our case, the judge stopped, looked at Hubby and myself and then asked these 2 wonderful questions...

"Well, what birthdays do the girls want?  What dates have you been celebrating?"

At that moment, I knew that the Lord was right there with us and that He had been with us all along, guiding and directing to get us to this moment in front of this judge!

Through my tears I told him that the girls really did not know how old they were and that when we tried to explain all of this to them, we hoped to make it easier for them by allowing them to pick their birthdays.

I told him that the girls really wanted summer birthdays so they could have pool parties and ice cream...

and without hesitation that sweet, "cantankerous" judge said...

"Well then they should have summer birthdays and they should have pool parties!"

This judge who was known to be a "stickler", disregarded DHEC's rejection and disregarded the doctor's dates of birth to give my girls the birth dates that they wanted and by that point, the point at which Hubby and I truly grasped what had just happened...

we were in awe and we were in tears...

tears of joy, tears of relief, tears of gratitude to the One who had, right in front of our eyes, worked all of this out for our girls and at the same time, reaffirmed for us that we were right where He wanted us in this.

So with a shaky voice, I told the Judge the birthdays that the girls and we had chosen.

It did not matter to him that these dates would make them a few months younger than the doctor's letter supported, this sweet, cantankerous judge's heart was moved but it didn't end there.

After the papers were signed and made official, this judge told us a story...

a story about a sweet little girl whom he had known many years ago...

a little girl who had been adopted from China by a colleague of his...

a bright, beautiful little girl who would draw him pictures...

and then charge him .25 for each one...

*grin*

a little girl who had touched his heart so profoundly that he actually broke down in tears as he shared his heart with us...

a little girl who paved the way for the Lord to work through this judge's heart for our beautiful little girls.

So, I happily relinquished my "star witness" status to the One who shone so brightly in that courtroom that day...

the One who showed up, not to show off but to show us that we are not alone in our battles.

His timing and His plan are always perfect and while we may never know all the reasons why we had to wait as long as we did and why we had to be in front of that judge on that day...

I am learning.

I am learning that I don't always need to know and that greater things are happening, decisions and re-directions as well as times of stillness that fit seamlessly into His perfect puzzle...

that my momentary concerns should be kept just that...

in the fleeting moment...

until, eventually, from the moment of conception, they are released from my heart, bypass my head and are lifted straight up to Him.

The feeling we had on this day, this feeling of euphoria, of giddiness in His goodness, of total trust and affirmation that the Lord was right there with us and had been all along...

this feeling is how we should walk through this life.

We should want to lock it away in our hearts so that the broken-ness of this world is used to stir our hearts, not wear them down.

But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.  They will soar high on wings like eagles.  They will run and not grow weary.  They will walk and not faint.  Isaiah 40:31

Sometimes the answer is in the wait, in the trust that builds within the wait, and after this particular wait...

we now have two very happy little girls who can finally answer with confidence and security, the endlessly asked question...

"How old are you?"