Saturday, November 7, 2015

I Remember...

I remember when we celebrated your very first birthday.


You were sick with an upset tummy and a fever...


which I was to learn over the years, was just the way you did sick!

I remember when you needed me to rock you to sleep every single night and I remember holding that moment close one night as I tried to commit it to memory.

I remember that night so clearly, holding you and rocking you as I felt the years slipping away from me even then.

It had been the third time that night that you had called for me, but I was determined to soak up every single second.

It was a sweet time when all that you needed to chase your fears away was me...

oh and Bo and Ginger and Blankie and Paci...

but you get my drift!

*grin*

It was a time before school and peer pressure and soccer and part time jobs and (gulp) driving!

It was a time that I knew I would never get back...

not with you anyway.

*wink*

I remember the joy and the laughter and the tears, the skinned knees battle scars, the bruised feelings and the snuggles.

I remember the fleeting moments we had together, just the two of us and I remember the pride of watching you become a big brother, over...


and over...


and over...


and over...


and over...


again....

and while you sometimes like to complain about that...

I have watched as your heart has grown as our family has and I have marveled at the way in which you have handled our need for more independence and responsibility from you.

I have come to trust your strength and I depend on you.

I remember mourning every year that went by while looking forward to the years that were to come and enjoying the little person that you were growing into...


and now that little person is...


18 years old!

Time is a funny thing.

As I call up all of those heart memories, all of those moments that passed between us and around us...

it seems enough to fill 100 years and at the same time...

not nearly enough for you to 18 years old.


Christian, the Lord has grown you into an incredible young man who knows his own heart and who is getting to know His heart.

You are strong inside and out and you hold those you love to the same high standards from which you navigate your own life.

As I look to the future, your future...

I am filled with a longing to hang on tightly to these present moments that are quickly slipping through my fingers as they propel you toward college and that transition into adulthood...


but all the while, I know you are ready and I know the time has come...

that time that seemed so close and yet so far away that one night 16 years ago when all you needed was your stuffed animals, your blankie, your paci and me...

the time to hold you in my heart as I trust the path that He has laid out before you.

This mothering thing is hard so bear with me as we explore this next uncharted territory together...

this territory of releasing my heart to the Lord, remaining as you stumble and marveling as you recover and discover His way for you.

And the Lord will guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched places and make your bones strong; and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail. Isaiah 58:11

In those scorched places of adulthood, He will be there.  Turn to Him to quench your thirst and you will grow and thrive and help to "water" others.

We are just so proud of you and all that you are striving for.  Your determination, courage, compassion and strength will be the vehicle through which the Lord will use you.

Happy 18th birthday my precious Christian....



We love you...  always

1 comment:

  1. They grow up way too fast! Happy Birthday to your son!

    ReplyDelete