Sunday, July 11, 2010

Sunday Snapshot - Mousey

If you look at  the picture in my header, you will notice a really soft little pink mouse.  Not the kind named Jerry that runs from Tom while trying to snag a bite of cheese or the kind that make you scream and jump on top of a chair (not that I would know anything about that at all - really!!), but the kind that soothes a litttle girl's fears.  The kind of mousey that calms her, comforts her and gives her a connection to her younger years, to the time in her life when she finally found the love of a family. 

That is one powerful connection, and now, that connection, that comfort, that security is gone and my sweet Lizzie is left with a void - again.

Mousey was given to Lizzie by her Marney while we were still in China.

It was love at first sight for Lizzie and Mousey has been by her side ever since.

Mousey saw Lizzie through each and every clubfoot cast,

and there were 18 of them.

That little pink mouse was there for both of Lizzie's hand surgeries,

and was even allowed to accompany her to the O.R.

I am her mother and I wasn't even allowed to do that, for pete's sake!

For 2 years, mousey has been Lizzie's constant companion, confidant, and friend but now is gone.

One day at the end of the school year (yeah, not crazy at all!), Lizzie lost her beloved friend.

We searched and searched and searched but could not find her Mousey anywhere.  Lizzie was heartbroken as was I, but I was not going to give up.  This was Mousey and Lizzie needed her, so the search continued but by the time I thought to look in the one place we had not looked, it was too late.

You see, the girls and I go the library quite frequently and on one of those visits, Lizzie must have left her Mousey behind.  We went back with hope in our hearts, only to find that the lost and found box was gone.  No one seemed to know what had happened to it so we checked back - often - until one day the head library dude, apparently in charge of all things, lost was there and...

he told me what I had dreaded hearing - that Lizzie's sweet friend had been thrown away - in the trash!  She didn't even make it to the Goodwill box!!  My heart sank and the tears started - not from Lizzie but from me!  I could not believe my reaction and the deep sadness that I was feeling for my daughter.

As I sit here with the tears stremming down my face yet again, I just cannot stand the thought of the loss that Lizzie is having to deal with - again!   My darling, brave, courageous, strong little one has had more loss to deal with in her 4 years of life than I have ever had and the fact that she is having to deal with this again is more than this Mother's heart can take.  I know it was just a stuffed mouse but to Lizzie it was so much more. 

All of my kids had their special loveys and had them at a very young age.  I could see the comfort that these loveys brought to my kids.  Many times it was as if their loveys could magically transport them back to the time in their lives where, as infants, all their needs were met and the toughest part of their day was a diaper change.

Lizzie never had that part of her infancy.  She never had all of her needs met.  She never could associate the smell of a special lovey with being held lovingly by her Momma - until Mousey and until we found her and  brought her home and met all her needs and held her lovingly.

So my heart is broken for my daughter. 

We have searched for a replacement, which I know will never be the same.  We will never find the mousey with the rip in her tail and the pizza stain on her face, but it would be better than this - than nothing.  We have searched but have not found one single little pink mousey.  The company that made her, has stopped making them and we cannot find one anywhere. 

I know Lizzie will survive and I am probably making more of this than I should but, would that I could make it all better for her, just as I wanted to make it all better for her when I held her for the first time, because I am her Momma and that's just what Mommas do.

If anyone out there recognizes this little pink mousey and knows where I can find one, please let this broken hearted Momma know and I will do whatever it takes to heal this loss...

Cause I know I can never totally heal her first loss, although I will never stop trying, cause I am Lizzie's Momma and that's just what I do.

To join in on Sunday Snapshot or just to read more, go here,

Ni Hao Y'all


  1. Awww...that breaks my heart. :( I'm sorry she lost her mousey! That's always hard on a child. I googled and found a couple that are similar, but couldn't find that particular mousey. Here are the links I found:

    Mouse with Pink Tutu and Ballet Shoes

    Lila Pink Mouse

    P.S. I didn't forget about your nav bar...just haven't had time to reply yet. :)

  2. So sad for you and your sweetie.
    Do you have any info that might help in our search? Who made it? Is it a Gund? I have often been lucky with Ebay. I'd be glad to help search.


  3. Oh, I am so sorry. I know how devastating a loss that can be. Do you have any other info? A maker? A year?

  4. Thank you guys!!!! It was manufactured and sold by Hannah Anderson and all they told us was that they did not make it or sell it anymore. It was called, "baby's first toy - pink mouse."

  5. Sold in 2007 by Hanna Andersson (or however you spell it)

    tag Reg #PA12517 in pink as Fairy Girl Mouse

    Made by hand in Paru

  6. I'm not sure where you live - but, if you live in the Atlanta area - look up the Atlanta Knitting Guild and I'm sure one of the wonderful women there will knot you one from the pictures you have posted in this blog. They meet the first Thurs of the month in Dunwoody.

  7. I actually have tears running down my face. How sad that mousey is gone for both you and her! My daughter also lost a lovie, a woobie as we call it and no replacement was the same as the "original" but it definately bought her comfort. Can't say the same for me....I feel ya on this. Hope you find a new mousey soon!

  8. The same thing happened to us! My son had a bear from the time he was born. He was diagnosed with a blood disorder and his bear was always there to comfort him. He slept with it every night. On a trip to Florida we put his back pack on the luggage cart hook. We loaded up our rental, but missed the back pack which held his bear. We realized quickly what had happened and turned around. It was already gone within a matter of minutes. It never showed up. We did find a replacement online, but it was never the same. And yes, this mama was much more broken hearted than my son. I hope you are able to find a new one.

  9. Oh, how heartbreaking! I have no idea what would happen if we misplaced "hippo," "bebe" or "bear bear" in our house. I hope you are able to find a suitable replacement and that Lizzie will accept it.

  10. Oh my heart breaks for her...and you!!! I cannot even imagine how her little heart is aching for her friendy. Oh man. I so pray that you can find a sweet replacement somewhere, somehow!

    Keep us posted, friend.

  11. Oh my! My heart breaks for sweet Lizzie!! I so hope that you are able to find a replacement mousey... please keep us posted!
    Have you checked on ebay?!?

  12. Sweet Lizzie - I'm so sorry you lost your friend. Tell mommy that I've searched ebay and the internet and have not found her either but I'll keep looking!!


  13. Wow, Annie, what a heart-wrenching post! I know what life is like for us when we can't find Fairy-kitty, Blackie or Lambie, and these special friends only came to J after coming home. I hope that your search proves fruitful--there must be another mousey out there. But remember what's important now--that Lizzie has a Momma and a family that actually cares when she loses something. It's the empathy that heals her, the fact that her pain and loss mean so much to others. Blessings.

  14. Whew . . . heartbreaking.
    But what a Momma you are . . . wow.
    Firstbrook Five

  15. I'm on the Atlanta knitting connections and have some leads. Annie, check your FB messages for a full update. Mission Mousey WILL succeed...eventually.

  16. Have you by chance called all of the outlet Hanna stores This has links to them at the bottom

    The ladies there have been quite helpful when I was searching for matches for my twin boys. Can't you do an in search of post on one of the ebay groups ?? I bet some seller has one NWT's just waiting in a bin somewhere to be sold.

    Hope you can find a replaement. ((((Lizzie))))

  17. Picking up Mousey's "twin" today! Will email you later!

  18. Mousey's "twin" is in route via Big Brown.