Sunday, February 14, 2021

Happy 18th Birthday Caleb

My dearest Caleb...  

Today you are 18 years old.

The world now sees you as a man.

I still see you as my baby boy.

You have always known how to make me laugh...

and how to touch my heart...

and I am not sure I am ready as the moments we have without you begin to overtake the moments we have with you.

"Mom, when I grow up do we have to be separated?"

A question asked from your 6 year old sweet self!

The reply from my formally 46 year old self caught in my throat as my answer danced around my heart's desire and the absoluteness of time.

In the preciousness of the moment, I want it to be but I have learned to treasure up all the moments in between as that baby boy becomes 18.

With each of you, I think I began to mourn this time even as I held you all for the very first time, not fully understanding the beauty of the journey, because it is beautiful.

The ache of arms outgrown is gently replaced by the anticipation of purposes fulfilled. 

The Lord entrusted you to me and with every one of those precious, passing moments, I have been releasing you back to Him.

Caleb, you are funny and interesting and talented and have a maturity that allows me to release with more ease...

or maybe it's the five other distractions still at home????

Nah, it's definitely your maturity😉

“Aim at heaven and you will get earth thrown in. Aim at earth and you get neither.”
C.S. Lewis

You have good aim my darlin! Don't allow this world to turn your gaze away.

Happy (gulp) 18th Calebebeeeee!!!

Saturday, February 6, 2021

Happy 21st Charlie

 Twenty-one years ago you made your grand entrance...

and it was dramatic!

 Hmm, maybe that's why you seem to like making dramatic entrances now😄


I know you were ready for 21...

but is 21 ready for you😉

I don't think I will ever be ready for you to be 21😏  

It just doesn't seem possible that we are 21 years away from this...

or this...

or this...

I mean I never really got used to the idea of you being a senior in high school and that whole graduating thing😉...

and now you are nearing your senior year at college and the days of Pokem*n cards and marbles and wooden blocks and sock wars have been replaced by interesting conversation and soccer in the kitchen and cheating at Uno and lots and lots of laughter.

There is still a smidge of longing for those early days that seemed hard, but that were enveloped in innocence and ease, as a "time out" corrected mistakes and the safety of my arms chased all fears (and your big brother😉) away and even though now, the mistakes can be bigger and the fears more real and more than my arms can carry...

you wear adulthood well my darlin and I realize I don't have to correct the mistakes or chase away the fears and I'm ok with that😄


You've got this!

I can think of so many words to describe you Charlie dear...








But the very best adjective I have ever found to describe you is...

You are just so "Charlie"!!!

Love you and remember...

Just cause you can, doesn't mean you should!

Happy 21st Birthday!!!