Full to Overflowing

This is what we found when we went to bed a few nights ago...



Now I know we have a king size bed and all, but honestly, where were we supposed to sleep??? Hehe!!

Wo Ai Ni Mommy

I found an interesting video trailer on this blog . It is a trailer for a documentary about an 8 year old girl who was adopted from China entitled Wo Ai Ni Mommy (I Love You Mommy) and it describes the families' experiences, the struggles and the joy that may be involved in an older child adoption. Just the trailer was very emotional and I have my own reasons for watching it but cannot wait for the show to air! Go here and click on "Enter Site" to view the trailer!!

There is a portion of the trailer where this beautiful little girl is crying and asking to go back to China, to all that was familiar to her. This broke my heart and led my thoughts to Lizzie and her process of attachment. Wanting to go back to China (without us) is one thing that I can say we have never seen in Lizzie. Even in China, during our orphanage visit, Lizzie's reaction to the nannies was heart wrenching. She clearly did NOT want to go to them, any of them. This very difficult visit and my feelings about her care in China and the effect it had on my sweet girl is a post for another day. Suffice it to say that it was an extrememly emotional day, good and bad!



We still see, after being home for a year and a half, signs that she worries about leaving us. When she gets in trouble, she often apologizes profusely for her actions and somehow it is different. Her apologies sometimes have a desperateness about them that just brings me to my knees. She also gets VERY worried and scared when I get hurt and I don't mean seriously injured like 911 worthy but "oops I need a bandaid" type boo boo! It can bring my sweet girl to the verge of tears - me too!! I guess whether a child longs for what was their "familiar" or is fearful about loosing what has become their new "familiar," each reaction can be challenging and heartbreaking for both the child and the family. I can say from my own experience that this is one of many things that I pray about, worry about and over analyze about with Lizzie. However, I pray about and worry about and over analyze about other things with our biological children too (like why Em loves Batman underwear and why my sons think that just saying the words fart, burp and poop is the funniest thing ever, Hehe). So I guess in the end, every single child has fears, adopted or not as does every single parent, but yet I still search for answers and reason and solutions where there may be none. I do so, however, because I am Mom. I am Christian, Charlie, Caleb, Em and Lizzie's Mom and I love them all and worry about them all and enjoy them all tremendously. They will all have their own set of challenges (one of which being their crazy parents) but so do we all and we pray about them, worry about them and over analyze them and then move on!! We all have obstacles to overcome (I watched my amazing brother overcome many) and learning all we can about dealing with them helps us to ultimately overcome them and live!!! The best thing I ever did to overcome some of my many challenges (because there are many) was to marry a guy who definitely does not worry too much or over analyzes ANYTHING! It drives me absolutely crazy sometimes, but does keep me grounded!!

Princess huh???? Yeah right!!!!

What does a pair of Batman underwear have to do with a Princess? Not much really, but it is my proof!! Hahahahahahaha, I laugh triumphantly!!! Remember my recent post about how Em thinks she is more girly girl than tomboy and how Momma knows the real truth? Well I just had to report back and say that on a trip to Walmart yesterday after picking out all the princess stuff she wanted for her bday and THEN having to go back and check on them before we left the store, little Miss Girly Girl decided on some very stylish but not very girly Batman big girl (boy) pants as her purchase of the day and was very happy about it. It was actually a very hard choice between Spider Man, Scooby Doo, Transformers and Batman. In the end, however, the Caped Crusader reigned supreme!! She could not wait to get home and show her brothers, which she promptly did at bedtime last night. Right after her bath, Em adorned her very stylish but not very girly Batman big girl (boy) pants and danced around her brother's rooms singing I - am - Batman!!! Sorry sweetheart but Momma knows what's under those Princess dresses and it definitely ain't pink!!! Hehe!!

This is a girl who knows what she wants...

Well maybe!!! Em is a true mixture of tomboy and girly girl. She thinks that she is more girly girl than tomboy, however, Momma knows the truth!! Her birthday is a couple of months away, yet she is talking about it constantly. How do you explain the concept of time to a 3 year old??? Anyway, she really, really, really wants a princess cake and just yesterday began to describe in full detail what else her requirements were.



The funny thing is, she talks a good princess game but this girl would much rather be wrestling (and most times winning) with her big brothers or kicking a soccer ball (albeit pink) in the house and usually knocking something over, than playing or watching or reading about princesses. Her first choice of books at the book store the other day was a book about dinosaur innards. The colon, in particular, was the one she was most fascinated by!! Thanks boys!!!! She does LOVE baby dolls and playing Mommie with Lizzie but I really think that has more to do with wanting to boss her little sister around than anything else!! Hehe!! I love ya my little girly girl, wrestling, soccer playing princess!! You rock!

Top Ten Photos of 2009

TM over at Our Little Tongginator posted her top ten pics of 09 and asked others to join in. Sounded like fun to me and since we have been out of town with no (gulp) computer, I thought it would be a great first post for 2010. If you want to join the fun go here .

OK, here goes. My top ten pics of 2009.

I have to first start with some of my fav Soccer pics because I just LOVE watching my boys play soccer!!

This first pic is of my oldest. He is a perfectionist and plays to his fullest. He was captain of his team this year and we are very proud of him and I believe I have mentioned before how much HAIR this boy has!!! SO not fair!!! Hehe!!



Number 2 pic is of my 9 year old. He is a natural athlete and just loves playing soccer because it is FUN!! Charlie does love to have fun and I do love to watch him having fun on that soccer field!



Number 3 Soccer pic is of my littlest boy or my middlest child!! I love this pic because Caleb is concentrating so hard while his brothers watch and support!!! Caleb is much like his oldest brother and does like to be as perfect as he can be at whatever he tries!! He is usually successful, although he doesn't always think so.



Love these next 2 pics because they show the definite difference in the boys and girls in our house according to my hubby!!! Hehehehehe!!!





Number 6 is a pic I took of Lizzie when we were at the beach this summer. Her hair had finally started to grow out from her orphanage buzz cut and this pic just shows how incredibly gorgeous she is!!!



Number 7 is a pic that will always hold a special place in my heart. We lost my Dad in September 2009 but his health had been failing for a long time. The girls, in particular Lizzie, were very attentive. Whenever we were helping Dad move around, the girls would jump up and grab his hand and help us to help him. I am so glad Dad got to know Em and Lizzie but am so sad that he did not get to really know them.



Number 8 is of Christian on his very first Cotillion. He looked so handsome and so grown up. Lizzie thought her big brother was lookin' good and insisted on being in the pic with him!



Number 9 is a pic that I love but that Em will probably hate as she gets older!! This pic to me just shows the true Emmeline. She is so beautiful but has been so shaped by having 3 big brothers. She is brave and strong and headstrong and just "dives" into life!! When you first meet her, she is very shy but hang in there with her a while and you get a glimpse into her infectious gusto!!



Saved the best for last. Lizzie after 18 clubfoot casts, one tendon surgery and 2 hand surgeries, plays flag football. Nuf said!!!!



OK, had to cheat here a bit. As I was going through my pics I realized that I just couldn't leave some of them out. So I am just going to post a few more in no particular order!! Sorry!! LOL!!





How I think of Caleb for most of the year - toothless!!











First candy apples - yum!



First day of preschool - yay!!



Big girl pants - double yay!!!



First real kiss - triple yay!!













Just a "friendly" game, right hun????











So that is kind of our year in review in pics!! We were just lamenting the fact that 2009 has not been our best year, however, looking back with these pictures, I am beginning to change my mind. It is really all about putting things in perspective, isn't it? Here's looking forward to a wonderful 2010!!

Surviving Christmas

Doesn't that sound awful??? That is, however, how I felt. I also feel as if I was sort of cheated out of Christmas this year. I know, I know, more belly aching - oh no, that was to come later - ugh!! We had planned a very nice family Christmas that was to include JuJu (my Mom) and Church and s'mores and a nice dinner and a little champagne and of course some VERY excited little ones who were (finally) on their best behavior and were desperately trying to make up for lost time, so to speak!!! Hehe!! All did not go as planned, however!! We did get to make the s'mores and Mom did make it here and everyone else (but me) had a good dinner. Church did not happen, though, because of a time mistake and dinner didn't work out too well for me because, well, I got SICK!!!!! SO SICK!!!! ON CHRISTMAS EVE!!!!! FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!!! I threw up from 9:00 Christmas Eve night until about 6:00 Christmas morning - yuck!! Poor hubby was left to fend for himself as I tried to help in between "episodes!" Just trying to keep the kids from getting out of bed until Mommie was well enough to witness the Christmas reveal and not throw up on it, was quite the feat, but hubby was up to the task, roping off the den with a carefully worded threat (I mean note) taped to it!! Hehe! I will not complain anymore about it but wanted to explain my lack of Christmas posts and pics! I did manage to click a few post worthy pics of our s'mores...











Some marshmallows fared better than others



but that didn't deter hubby



or Emmeline!!!



In the end, the kids had a wonderful day and that helped Mommie to feel better. We even made it back to JuJu's house later (much later) for Christmas dinner and more gifts (like they needed anymore) and (drumroll please) the eagerly anticipated Gingerbread house!! For those who have never made the wonderful Gingerbread house, please take note. Do not wait 2 weeks in between making said house and eating said house. As the dinner was done and the kids gathered round, mouths watering, the house of sweet delights was brought to the table and...





was hard as a rock!!!!!





and in the end, only the strong survived...







Miss Lizzie May!!!!!

We even got to spend some time with extended family and friends.



and the boys were more than willing to help out, especially when it meant earning some extra time on their Christmas present - an XBOX. Already regretting that momentary lapse of reason!!!



All in all, I really cannot bellyache (please no more belly aches) about our Christmas too much. We have been blessed beyond blessed and the things that are important to me were all here, surviving Christmas with me. Next year however, I think bathing in antibacterial gel might be on my Christmas "to do" list!!! Hehe!!!