So, as I sat in our very empty and very quiet house the night before we left, I kept thinking to myself that I should enjoy the quiet, right...
cause pretty soon, this house will once again be full (er) and loud (er) but that night, I was feeling the emptiness and didn't like the quietness.
That house was just made for
screaming laughing children and barking dogs who think that
everyone who is brave enough to actually knock on our door, needs a 5
Yep, that day I had taken the doggies to my sweet friend who boards them for us when we need it and all the kiddos, except Caleb, went to my Mom's and I was missing them and feeling sad...
totally not thinking about why they were not there.
I had been dreading the emptiness and the quiet all week and had been looking for any opportunity to soak up an extra minute here and there with my kiddos.
The Lord knew this and used it to bring a couple more God winks my way.
I have really enjoyed going for walks after dinner this summer. It has been a time that I have treasured this summer as we can do something together as a family and just enjoy being together, away from all other distractions.
Well, a few nights back after a stressful day of trying to plan and prepare for our trip and for our time away from the kids, who will be starting school without us, we went for one of our after dinner walks. As we were walking that night and as my mind was not were it should be, but on the trials of the day...
I saw one...
and then I saw two...
and then the woods were alive with the soft glow of fireflys!!
Y'all, I have not seen fireflys or lightning bugs as we used to call them, since I was a kid!
They used to come out almost every summer evening when I was growing up.
We would head out to the backyard after supper and marvel at these bugs that would illuminate the dimming light surrounding Mom's garden, trying to catch them in jars with lids that we had carefully prepared with perfectly punctured holes, always making sure we released them before we would head in to get ready for bed.
the lightning bugs just seem to disappear...
I had all but forgotten about them until the other night when they once again illuminated the dimming light of our neighborhood and I felt like a kid again!
I was completely transformed to the giddiness and excitement over the simpler gifts in life that seems to fade as we grow up.
I know the kids thought I had lost my mind but it reminded me that the Lord loves that kind of giddiness and enjoyment over the beauty and the treasures that surrounds us every single day – His gifts.
It also reminded me that just as when I was a kid, I am loved and I am watched over and I am treasured and I should rejoice and be thankful and as my sweet 10 year old Caleb said as we sat at the Atlanta airport waiting to board our flight to LA, “You know how people say that it's not about the destination but more about the journey? Well, on this trip, it is ALL about our destination and not as much about our journey!”
I had lost sight of our destination and was drowning in the journey.
It breaks my heart how easily that can happen.
So back to Friday as I dropped the kids off with Mom and sobbed as I thought about having to be away from them for 3 weeks, how I wouldn't be there for them as they met their teachers or started school this year and as I was feeling so sorry for myself, I turned on the radio and what just happened to be playing but the song that the girls had been singing on two other occasions when I needed a God wink...
and it just so happened to be playing the sweet song that the girls like to sing in the car and at the exact same verse that they know so well.
Chris Tomlin's, "Whom Shall I Fear."
Yep, the God of angel armies, is always by my side!
Once again, I had forgotten our destination and the Lord winked my way once again to nudge me back to that place of peace and thankfulness!
Now here we sit in our hotel room in Zhengzhou and I am firmly focused on our destination.
It is by His grace alone that we are winging our way to our girls and I am so incredibly grateful that Lucy and Maggie will finally have a Mommie and a Daddy to take them to their first day of school and meet their teachers and do all those things that Mommies and Daddies do for their children...
the things that they have never had.
So, we meet Lucy on the 13th and Maggie on the 18th!
If you think about it on those days, I would love for you to pray for them as they leave all that they have ever known (good or bad) and their small worlds are turned upside down for a while.
Cause even though we know they will be loved, they will have to uncover our hearts as they begin to open theirs.