Saturday, June 30, 2012


It has been hard

I am trying to be "normal"

I am trying to just focus on living in the ordinary things of the day

I am trying to concentrate on being a Mom and making sure the kids have their routine to count on right now, as if nothing has changed.

It's funny because they are so used to having to cut corners and hearing, "Sorry guys but we just can't afford that right now," that this kind of is our "normal."


I have to admit that a part of me really hates to say "no" all the time.

I part of me thinks that the kids are getting cheated out of something but if you ask me what, all I can come up with is, stuff or eating out or movies or water parks or vacations to really expensive places

and while all of that every now and again is great and fun and really OK,

I am learning that having to say "no" to this "stuff" doesn't mean having to say "no" to loving my kiddos and spending time with them and having fun with them and showing them that life is not all about having stuff and doing stuff.
Do you know that none of our kiddos got birthday gifts from us this year?
and you know what?
It was OK.
They understood and they enjoyed their birthdays - even the 6 year olds - and they still know that we love them - without all the "stuff."

Together we are learning that it is OK to wait,
it is OK to not have stuff
The Lord is working on us, all of us and how can that not be a good thing?
It is hard.  I am not going to lie.  
It is so hard knowing that we may loose this house.
It is hard knowing that  we may have to use up the last of our retirement to pay the bills.

It is hard knowing that it may get worse before it gets better...

and it is so incredibly hard knowing that we may loose our daughter.

This is what I am struggling with.

This is what I am really having to pray through.

I have no doubt that the Lord will bring our XM home if this is His plan for her and for our family.

I have NO doubt that He will provide the way and provide it in His timing.

Knowing this and trusting this does make it easier and keeps me from totally freaking out but the thought is still never far from my heart.
The Lord, however, has had this mapped out even before we were born and in His perfect way, He made sure to surround us with friends who could guide us, friends whom He sent our way to help us make sense out of what He was doing, friends who would help us to draw closer to Him and to lean on Him instead of falling away from Him.
Some of these friends are YOU, those whom I have never met in person but whom have impacted my life just by the way they live theirs.

Some of these friends I have met and feel incredibly blessed to be able to now call them my dear friends, to get together with them, laugh with them and pray with them.

Our children are becoming friends as we become friends and that is a beautiful gift from Him.

Two such friends are Jennifer P. and her beautiful daughter Rachel!

Weeks ago Jennifer called to tell me that she and her wonderful daughter Rachel had been trying to think of a way to help us with our fundraising.
Even though they are right in the middle of their own adoption, they felt led to help us

They decided that they wanted to plan, pay for and run a week long summer camp for us!



Not only did they want to help us with our fundraising but they were willing to spend countless hours planning and preparing...


take an entire week out of their summer to run a camp - for kids - a lot of kids!



However, knowing these 2 and their incredibly giving hearts, I was not surprised!
They are amazing and it was such a great week,
 full of fun 
and games

and crafts 

and friends

and pirates

and contests like a rice eating

with chopsticks 

and a crazy food eating contest

with pistachios dried chicken brains

and capers lizard eyes

and honey with raisins toad slime

and cocktail sauce snake blood

and chunky mashed bananas goat's stomach!!!!!

Em didn't win but she was the last girl standing!


Apparently, dried chicken brains taste just like pistachios! 

 Who knew?

What a great week!
In the midst of the struggle it was a week full of blessings and reminders of  the love that He surrounds us with.
Jennifer and Rachel raised almost $1800 for our XM but more than that, they helped us to understand how incredibly blessed we are!

Thank you my sweet friends.
I pray that one of these days I will be able to tell our precious XM about how much she was wanted and loved!


  1. I have been praying for your family. I totally understand what you are going through. God will and does provide.

  2. How sweet! I think and pray for you all often. What a journey God is taking you on!

  3. We will continue to pray for your family. It is such a blessing to have such sweet friends.

  4. Habakkuk 2:3
    "for the vision is yet for the appointed time. It hastens toward the goal and it will not fail. Though it tarries, wait for it. It will surely come. It will not delay."
    Love to you and many prayers,
    Btw, if you can afford the gas, drive down to Florida and stay with us. We'll hook ya up!

  5. Ann, you have incredible faith. Yes, He showed you this week through your friends that He is right there with you. He knows the plans He has for you, not to harm you but to give you a future and a hope. Continue to hang on to Him.

    You are teaching your children an invaluable lesson that "stuff" is not what life is about. The "stuff" can be stolen or burned up. Your love and relationships are what count.

  6. Ginger worded what I was thinking so perfectly... I'll continue to pray for you:-)

  7. What a precious thing for your friends to do for you and XM!!! I so get your struggles now. When my past husband was sick we went through some tough unemployment times, God always answered our prayers and I truly think those years made my big kids who they are today. You are reminding me that I need to be saying "no" to my littles more often as I think it shapes who they can become!! Hang in there, praying for you all!!!!

  8. What wonderful friends you have--and look how happy your children are! Praying for all of you and your XM!

  9. Just awesome Annie! Praying that a job is just around the corner! God loves you and he's already got it mapped out. :)

  10. Dear Annie. Oh how I can relate to this post. I haven't blogged about this yet, but my husband lost his job back in April. What a heartbreak. I work part time, although I am picking up as many shifts as I can, we have lost our benefits and his income. He is still get a shift here and there as a casual employee, but we are just in the beginning stages of how this affects us. We have changed our way of doing things and saying "no" has become a regular word in my vocabulary! :) We also find things to enjoy as a family that aren't costly, and we also had a lot of practice cutting back on spending during the adoption process. I have found saying no and cutting back is healthy in so many ways! Teaches us new habits! I know God is gracious and will not leave us forsaken so I know something will come soon. I will be praying that your husband will find work immediately so that there will not even be a glitch in the process to your sweet XM!! God is so good!

    1. Thank you dear Annie!!!! Praying for you all too!!!!!

  11. God is so good and so evident! What wonderful friends and how awesome to have done this! You are blessed!

    Sweet XM will be truly loved not only by her family but by your friends!

    Saying prayers! You are in my thoughts all day long!

  12. Annie,
    Many are advocating for YOU today!!! I hope you get the chance to know just how many. I can not wait to see what the Lord is going to do!!! May you be blessed:)

    1. Thank you sweet Rebecca!!! Stef is so amazing to do this for us!

  13. my girlies read your blog and their hearts are burdened to help bring your sweet daughter home! Their proceeds tomorrow will be donated to ya'll. Read it here!
    Praying for the Lord to provide and provide quickly!!!!!

    1. Oh Johanna, I emailed your wonderful girls earlier today!!! They are so sweet and what amazing hearts they have at such a young age! WOW! Their beautiful offer of love and support and help just touched my heart in a way that is difficult to put into words!!!!! You must be so very proud of your wonderful girlies:):):)