Why??

I have been thinking a lot lately about this blog and my advocacy blog and how much my advocacy work has grown.  It has grown so much more than I ever dreamed it would and while I am so incredibly humbled to be used as His tool for these precious children, I know that I have been neglecting this blog a bit.  I feel guilty sometimes for not finding the time to add a post over here or to put my thoughts into a really cathartic post, because there are so many of those right now that I could write, with a 13 year old with a girlfriend and an 11 year old with a girlfriend and an 8 year old who just refuses to eat anything but peanut butter crackers for supper and soon to be TWO 5 year old little drama queens girls who, are well, TWO soon the be 5 year old drama queens girls - nuf said!  Heh!  There are just not enough hours in the day and I find myself emotionally drained after my weekly advocacy posts, without the energy within, to pull from to be able to whip up another post over here, cause honestly, it is not easy for me.  When I post, it takes time because I am just a bit OCD thoughtful about my choice of words and I find myself staying up WAY too late at night trying to get it all done and perfect good!  So, what is my point with this post?  I am apologizing for the neglect but also trying to explain why. 

Why???

Why do I spend SO much time on these children on my advocacy site, whom I have never met and may never meet? 

Why do these children tug at my heart so? 

Why do I feel like the Lord has been preparing me for this, my whole life?

Why???

I have been asking myself these questions recently as I try and determine how to continue in my "calling" while taking care of my family and giving them the time that they need from me and - to - sleep!

Then last weekend as I was watching Lizzie score her umpteenth goal, as I watched her run to Coach Daddy with that big beautiful smile to give him a high five, as I watched her turn to me, flash that grin and give me the "after-goal" thumbs up,

I knew why. 

I think a lot about our little Lizzie and that big, huge, wonderful personality that captures so many hearts and literally draws a crowd and I think about how wasted that beautiful soul would be if she were still there, if she had no one to run to, no one to give that thumbs up to, no one to appreciate all the wonders of that big, huge personality in that teeny, tiny, precious body. 

I think about where she was

and how far she has come and how far she will be able to go and then I think about where she would be if she were not here and where we would be if she were not here.  The really sad part is that if she were to have never come into our lives, if we had not answered that call from the Lord, we would not even realize what we had missed, how our lives might have been touched by one tiny little girl on the other side of the world, how our lives might have been changed and our hearts moved!!  We wouldn't have known.

But we DID answer that call and we DO know what we would have missed and we DO know what the world would have missed, if this sweet, amazing child were still there - and then I start to realize just how many other precious, amazing, wonderful souls ARE still there and what THEIR families may not know, what THEIR families are missing. 

The day we brought our precious Lizzie home, I left a little piece of my heart in China and I don't know that my heart will ever be completely whole again but I do know that the rest of my heart is full of love and laughter and amazements and inspirations that only a family can bring. 

My heart weeps for those left behind who don't truly understand what kind of love they are missing but know that they are missing something.  My heart also weeps for those families who don't truly understand what kind of love they are missing but because of "life" and all the distractions, don't even know that they are missing something. 

I can tell you that you that they ARE missing something.  They are missing the joy of hearing their child who had never been told, "I love you," until they were 2 years old, tell you over and over, "I love you Mommie, you're the best!"  They are missing watching their other kids' hearts grow in ways that fill yours.  Those precious children who wait are missing so much - but so are those families who never answer that call.

So - I - advocate because I cannot watch my beautiful, amazing, heart moving daughter without mourning those who are not giving high fives to their Coach Daddies and thumbs up to their adoring Mommas, those who wait and wait and watch others go before them and wonder if it will ever be their turn. 

I am not asking for praise or kudos, because this is all Him anyway.  What I am asking for is that you might look at these faces, really look at them and think about the fact that God created all these children with a purpose.  Might you be the family to give them the chance to realize that purpose?  I know I am preaching to the choir here but I am pleading with all those who read this post to pass it along and help some of these wonderful waiting kids to have their chance to shine, their chance to fulfill their dreams and just - be - loved!

Here are this week's posts on my advocacy blog and some of the pics of the children who have been waiting for so long!

Shared List Kiddos

Arizona

Henry

Teddy

Mary

Peter

Drew

Serena

Sophie

Steven

Annabelle

Patrick

Noel

Joseph

Sweet Suzy

Agency List Kiddos

Angelina

Poppy

Matthew

QB

WLZ

YD

Meagan who just wants a mom and dad to hold her hand and walk her home from school!

Thomas

Katy

Cullie

Please pass this post along and bring these kids to the families who might, otherwise, not ever know what they have been missing!

This is why!