Ever get so wrapped up in your own worries and struggles that you loose faith? Get so bogged down in the worrying part that you loose sight of what is truly important? I got a much needed reality check from my two youngest children the other day. After one of Lizzie's appointments we stopped by CVS to get her medicine. As we were waiting for the pharmacist, my thoughts of possible allergist appointments and Charlie's recent tummy troubles turned to thoughts and worries about money. A worry that has been in my mind for what seems like a very long time now. We have had (like so many others) employment worries that turned into financial worries that seemed to take over our thoughts and don't leave room for much else. It started with having to say "no" to ourselves a lot more (no more date nights, sniff), then to saying "no" to the kids a lot more (ouch), then to not just automatically going out and buying all of the items on your kids' wonderful teachers' wish lists (sigh), to which bill do we pay first and which bill will we be late on this month, to oh no, we are behind a mortgage payment (yikes)!!! The thing that hit me hard this week was knowing that we were having to send our older 2 to an out of town soccer tourney with another wonderful family because we couldn't afford the hotel room. It was so nice of this family to offer this to us. I am just more used to making these offers, not accepting them and I am certainly not used to sending my boys off to play soccer without us!! The point is, I have been focusing on what we don't have, mainly money... until we were leaving the CVS. I saw the fireman out collecting money for the Children's Charity and stopped to put some money in the boot and of course the girls wanted to know what in the world I was doing putting money in a fireman's boot!! I am sure they were thinking that Mom must be cracking from the stress:) Anyway, after a simple explanation about how the firemen were collecting money for children and their families who don't have a lot of money, my little Lizzie very matter of factly said, "You mean like us?" OK, after quickly rethinking my delusion that we were keeping the stress from the kids (ugh), I realized that my 3 year old had once again slapped me back into our reality. When I got my wits about me again, I replied that no, honey, not like us. There are so many families who have so much less than we do and I realized that the talk I give my kids when they are pouting about not having something they want, was the exact talk I should be giving myself. You know the talk. The one that you pull out when nothing else has worked and all your patience is gone! The one that informs your children that there are children in this world who don't have enough to eat or if you are really mad, that there are kids in this world who don't have such loving and wonderful Mommies and Daddys!!! Please tell me that I am not the only Mom who has completely lost their patience and used this "talk" when all else fails!!! However, in the car that day I was reminded of all that we have to be grateful for - so incredibly grateful for!!! I thought about the poor people of Haiti or Chili or the beautiful faces of all those children in Lizzie's orphanage and on all those waiting child lists on all those agency's websites and thought about how grateful I am and how blessed I am. I am grateful for,
and of course him,
The absolute love of my life and the best Daddy ever,
I love my house,
but it is just a house and we will be ok, no matter where we live because I have them and they have me and oh my goodness we are blessed. When hubby and I got married, we had each taken the other's ring and had it engraved. We had not told each other what we were engraving and after the ceremony, we realized that we had both engraved the same things on our rings. It was, "My gift from God." This is what I hold on to and what I need to always remember. I have been blessed with so many amazing gifts from God, gifts that no amount of money can buy! Em happen to ask me this week if she could pray. It was the middle of the day and we usually pray with them at bedtime, but I told her that yes, of course, you can pray. I watched as she got on her knees, folded her hands and thanked God for her sister and for making China, cause that is where Lizzie was born! Yeah, I am blessed!!!! Just needed a little 3 year old reality check!!!!