Tis The Season

No, not that season...

Although I seem to be thinking about Christmas earlier and earlier each year.

With 8 kids, Christmas is never far from my thoughts.

*wink*

No, the season I am referring to is that season in life that overtakes you before you even have a chance to exhale, that season that takes all of your moments and flings them into a future that stands there waiting, as you breathlessly catch up.

Some anxiously race toward that future while some (me) deliberately meander through each moment, clinging even to those memories that are yet to be made.

For me, this season is a incongruous jumble.

With six still at home and four of them exhibiting all the signs and symptoms of teenage girls...

*gulp*

I'm still livin' large in the land of chores and curfews and consequences and "make it all better" hugs...

but I am also learning how to let go and allow the Lord to do what I have prayed for as my two oldest begin their seasons...

cause I don't think you have seasons until you are at least 21...  right??

*grin*

 I will never forget the day I walked in and saw Christian's b*llet proof vest on my kitchen counter.

NOT something I see on my kitchen counters very often ever!

In the past, my kitchen counters have been the depository for books, school papers, snacks, sweatshirts and yes, sometimes even dirty socks!!!

*gasp*

but I can say with certainty that this was the very first time for a b*llet proof vest and unlike the afore mentioned items, I did NOT threaten to throw this one in the trash, if not removed from my counters!

My Christian has graduated and now feels called to join the P*lice Ac*demy and I am proud and nervous and humbled by his desire to serve but his timing stinks😉

Soooooo...  I am praying and trusting and releasing as those middle of the night moments come flooding back to my heart, those nights that seem like forever ago and just like yesterday all at the same time, those nights before I was truly walking with the Lord but He, in His mercy, was there... 

those are the nights that I held and rocked and sang to my first born baby boy.

It was during those moments that the Lord ministered to my heart and began to prepare me for this season.

But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. Luke 2:19

One of my favorite verses and one that I cling to as I reminisce about one season and anticipate another.  

And then along came Charlie.

*snicker*

Charlie is not quite 21 yet but I am beginning to believe that Charlie IS a season!

*haha*

Charlie is a junior this year and was offered a most amazing internship, one that keeps him busy and out of trouble (mostly😉), but one that keeps him away from home...

Again, Charlie is his own season... you know, sort of like hurricane season!

Bwhahahahahaha!

In other words...

I MISS HIM!

He is a presence and when he is not here, he is missed and this was our very first Thanksgiving without him.

Yep, that dang season of helplessly watching as they grow up and away.

Thankfully, my sweet Sis-in-law and her family got to enjoy Hurricane Charlie for Thanksgiving.

He wasn't alone, and for that...

I am thankful.

Jealous but thankful!

*wink*

and while I am having to dig deep to be thankful for this season that has come way to fast for him, I am thankful; as this internship and the people he finds himself surrounded with, answers a constant prayer from the heart of this Momma who has lived the difference between believing in God and walking with Him. 

So while I don't always find myself "jolly" in this particular season...

I do find my peace in the One who never gave up on me, as I trust that He will relentlessly pursue my p*lice officer and my hurricane and all my other "yet to be's" as they lead me into seasons to come.