Monday, November 9, 2009

Thank you!!

I just wanted to thank everyone again who was kind enough to comment on my "I Cried For You In China" post. I don't know if some of the things I learned has made a difference but Lizzie has just blossomed in the past week. The first way in which I see a difference is something that I didn't really notice was missing until it happened the other day. Lizzie has started to rest her sweet little head on my shoulder when I take her out of the car after she has fallen asleep or if she is simply just sleepy. There have been several times that she has remained asleep with that precious face pressed into my shoulder as I bring her into the house and rock her and cherish every single second!! Maybe it is the lack of naps but I truly think we have turned another corner. The second amazing thing that we have seen happening is a testament to her incredible strength of will. All of a sudden Lizzie is visibly learning how to control her temper and her fits. Over the summer, we seemed to have hit somewhat of a plateau as far as Lizzie's progress, socially. She was very whiny and clingy and her temper was flaring. Even though her tantrums are sooooooo much better than a year ago, we could still go through VERY rough patches where they were more frequent and difficult to deal with. It could have been that she was feeling my stress as I was dealing with my father's illness and ultimately losing him, worried about my Mother and finances and finally losing our sweet pup, Tippy. Yikes!! I think I deserve a temper tantrum or 2 or maybe just a long morning in bed!!! Hehe!! Anyway, for whatever the reason Lizzie's progress had stalled and I think I was too wrapped up in what was happening to me that I didn't have the energy to deal with it. Just a few days ago, however we were in the midst of the third or forth or fifth tantrum of the day and I decided to try again. I just talked to her about trying to take a deep breath to calm down so she could use her words to tell me what was wrong. I told her that it was ok to be mad and it was ok for her to say that she was mad but it was NOT ok to throw a fit. I have told her this a thousand times before but this time, she stopped, took a deep breath and said, "OK" with the biggest Lizzie grin ever! Since that time, she has been trying sooooo hard and it is so awesome to watch. She can stop herself most times now and even has a more carefree way about her now. I am ashamed to admit it but today when she lost it a bit and started down that road, I got down on the floor and screamed and cried and kicked my feet and pounded my fists as my beautiful daughter looked at her mother like she had lost her mind!! After a few seconds, she began to laugh and I asked her if she could tell what I was upset about. She said "no" in between giggles and I then told her "using my words" exactly why I was upset, hoping that she would see the difference. I don't know if it worked but I do know she was laughing to hard to continue her fit. I know the boys weere thanking their lucky stars that none of their friends were witness to their Mother's temporary lose of sanity!! Hehe!! She is trying so hard and we are so proud of her! The last thing I have seen in Lizzie recently is her wonderful sense of humour transforming with her growing grasp of the English language and all of it's nuances. We were at a soccer game yesterday and I was trying to explain to the girls about making mistakes and how nobody is perfect. All of a sudden, I heard this little voice say, "I am!!!" Ya know what, you are about as close as it gets sweet girl!!!


  1. Another Dongguan mom...still following your blog. I am inspired by the love, honesty, and hope in your entries. I really smiled after I read today's post about your little Lizzie's progress. We adopted a SN (VSD) toddler (18 months) from Dongguan SWI almost a year ago today (Nov 17, 2008). Our little girl is a sweetie and at the same time a real "firecracker". She loves big but cries hard. She is so joyous and playful and silly but is also full of sadness and anger and need and frustration. The first 6 months we struggled with gross motor delays and GI issues. Then it seemed that we turned the "biggest" corner until the tantrums started in full force a few months ago. I completely empathisize with the clinginess yet seeming distance at the same time. It hurts me to see our girl cry. She has shed more tears in one month than our first (adopted) daughter has in her 4 years with us. Some days I wonder what I am doing wrong (or right) and at the same time wonder what is going on in her poor little mind and soul. Sometimes I wonder if it hurts me this much, I can't imagine being our little ones. It is reassuring to see other moms and families deal with similar issues with strength, hope, and faith with progress.
    Denise M.

  2. Thank you Denise. Your little one sounds so much like our sweet Lizzie.

    >Our little girl is a sweetie and at the same time a real "firecracker". She loves big but cries hard. She is so joyous and playful and silly but is also full of sadness and anger and need and frustration<


    >I completely empathisize with the clinginess yet seeming distance at the same time. <

    I love the way you put this!!! That is exactly our Lizzie and exactly how it feels sometimes!! Thank you for your understanding and wonderful comment!!